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Okay, look, we need to talk.
Come in.
Shut the door.
Here. Have a delicious danish.
You know how you like the beautiful curvy ladies like Christina Hendricks? That’s great. Really, that’s so great. I mean, it probably has a lot to do with the fact that Christina Hendricks is outrageously gorgeous and her face is perfectly symmetrical, but okay.
And I know that the skinny girls in magazines made you/your friend/”your friend” attempt to purge ineffectively in 7th grade. But there are different body types out there. Some girls are naturally very skinny. Some of those people are actually right here. Lilit is a size zero, and I watch her eat egg and cheese filled bagels pretty much all day long. She doesn’t puke up her food in the toilet. It’s just the way her body is, and that’s cool. (She would also like to say “there are few phrases I hate more than ‘eat a sandwich.’ You know what I’m not allowed to say? ‘Take some diet pills.’)
Some girls have more curves. Everyone is beautiful. Except for people with asymmetrical faces. Those people should wear more make-up.
Because between facebook groups and weird reader comments about how we’re assholes for not including plus sized models in a historical model round-up where we suggested you add your favorites in the comments, it seems like the quest to become more accepting of different body types actually means being less accepting of different body types. These people who talk about how women have to be curvaceous to be acceptable are discriminating every bit as much as the people who say that women have to be size zero to be acceptable.
Seriously. You’re not making curvy girls feel better, you’re just making skinny girls feel shitty.
Women. They come in different sizes. Sometimes that size is an extra-small. Deal with it.
How was that danish? Delicious? Good.
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Sweet article!
Theres definitely a big double standard with ‘skinny’ and ‘curvy’ girls.
As a ‘skinny’ girl i get verbally bashed when I wear kind of revealing things- for sports or a party, a bikini at the beach, when I eat lots- people get angry at how unfair my high metabolism is, at rare times I’m full- people call me out on being anorexic, drunken randoms at parties call me a skinny bitch and tell me I need more meat on me… etc. … and all thats perfectly acceptable- the norm.
But if I were ever to say to one of my ‘curvier’ friends that theyre looking kinda big today…. well DAMN AM I A BITCH.
Seriously though. All kinds of body types can be beautiful k. Except really underweight or overweight. Which varies for each person.
You might feel better about yourself by calling out them ‘anorexic, flat chested sluts’ or those ‘fat, greedy bitches’ but really you look like an insecure, ignorant and generally pathetic person.
Thank you!!
Let’s just realize the true beauty everyone holds, no matter what size they are. Less hating, more loving who we are.
“We’re in the process of trying to figure all that out,” Tortorella said. “I think it would be good for the players to just go down there and play and get some games in.”
Wolski not played since October 24; even since being activated off injured reserve January 5, the 25-year-old has not been able to crack the roster.
“I’m not forcing it,” Tortorella said. “We monitor our http://www.42room.com/ football players. I guess the answer [is], I’m not saying we have to get him in, because I like some things going on with our team right now. That’s the situation. He hasn’t played a whole bunch. We’ll see how other guys go along here and if we feel we have to get someone in, he’ll probably be the next guy to get an opportunity.”
You obviously are a bitch no one need more make up i don’t think anyone had a perfectly symmetrical face so don’t start everyone is beautiful exactly the way we are. STOP HATING c:
Now skinny jokes, eh? Here’s some of the ones I’ve heard, me being a skinny gal and all: “REAL women have curves.” “Even a dog wants to bury the bone.” “She’s too skinny, you f*** her and she’d break in half.” “She’s so skinny she turns sideways and you’d miss her.” “Put some rocks in your shoes so you don’t blow away.” Those are a few of the insults I’ve heard my whole life, not to mention the accusations of obviously NEVER eating, and the accusations of anorexia and bulemia are oh-so funny! Christina is beautiful, but so is Kate Moss. What’s wrong with showing different types of women as beautiful? Why is the media now thinking about just showing Christina’s body as the “ideal”? We don’t all look like Christina and we don’t all look like Kate. We’re all individuals, and we all look different. It’s about time we give equal attention to all different types of women.
Prejudice toward bigger people is very deeply ingrained in this country’s belief system and we need to learn to be more accepting and sensitive rather than blame them for their body type. That doesn’t mean, however, that it’s OK to lash out at skinny people in some sort of an attempt at vindication. Some of us are teased just as badly as the bigger girls.
As a skinny girl (at least I was extremely skinny up until I took large doses of Prednisone for a year) I heard all sorts of insults. A co-worker once remarked to a boyfriend that I “probably look like a drowned rat in the shower”. People always assumed that I must not be receiving adequate nourishment: “After all, no one can be that small without having an eating disorder”. Comments like these affected my body image and my self-esteem. I felt ugly and prayed that I could gain weight so people would stop making fun of me. Since then my metabolism has slowed down, but I’ve learned to love myself, inside and out, regardless of what others think. And isn’t that the primary focus we should have as women?
Why can’t we learn to love ourselves, and each other, instead of tossing around blame and insults?
I should probably note that I gained 30 lbs while on my medication and immediately started getting fat comments! What really bothers me about that is the fact that no one ever seems to be happy. There is such a fine line between what people consider “fat” and “too skinny” that only a small percentage of the population could ever achieve society’s ideal weight and look. I don’t know about you ladies, but I’m ready to get to the root of this problem! Let’s give up the bickering and insults and work for a country in which our girls can feel beautiful!
Because only men are satisfied with themselves.
I wrote this post in early July I totally agree http://alinicham.wordpress.com/2010/07/08/i-can’t-call-you-fat-so-don’t-tell-me-to-eat-a-sandwich/
I believe the make up comment was a joke, another jab at the idea that women SHOULD have to look a certain way.
I’m a huge follower of fat acceptance blogs, and fat acceptance culture in general, but it’s always turned my stomach the way many of those folks feel it within their rights to bash women who are, by turn, just as underweight as the women they celebrate being *overweight*. Great article, very witty.
It’s definitely “not cool to hate on anyone you feel like”– my issue with this piece is that it seems you’re sending hate back instead of requesting tolerance and understanding, and that approach seems counterproductive. Thus my distaste for the “Deal with it” attitude, and the girl who gripes that she’s not allowed to say “Take some diet pills,” as though it’s something that’s on her mind and the tip of her tongue. Sending it back doesn’t help. Understanding the hurt and resentment that have led to the hating-on-skinnies movement might be more helpful than handing someone a danish and then telling them to “Deal with it.”
It’s called satire. And I’m pretty sure you just summed up exactly what the author already said… Try reading your quoted statements in context and you may find the article has a completely different tone.
For example, she didn’t hand large ladies a virtual danish and tell them to “deal with it”. If you read the proceeding statements, it actually says: “Women. They come in different sizes. Sometimes that size is an extra-small. Deal with it.” And why shouldn’t we learn to deal with different sizes? Is there something horribly wrong with that?
Actually, many, many people in our culture consider it perfectly okay, practically a right, even, to remark in hurtful ways on the size of an overweight person. Just in the last couple of months one friend of mine was mooed at as she was entering a grocery store, and another friend, who has been working hard to prepare to run a 5K, had someone shout from a car that she was too fat to make it. Those are only the stories I’ve heard. Having been very overweight, I can tell you in all honesty that many people see nothing wrong with showering such insults on a person who is not thin. And just try complaining about it to any authority figure. When a close friend set up a meeting with her daughter’s teacher to discuss how other students were barraging her with insults about her weight, the teacher’s response was, “Well, have you ever tried putting her on a diet?” No acknowledgment at all that the other students were doing something wrong. After all, if you’re overweight it’s your fault and you deserve what you get.
You know what’s beautiful?
Confidence. A huge smile. Friendliness.
Every.Single.Person.Responds to these things.
And it is so simple to do those things!!
Keep it classy, keep it sexy, keep it you.
Love,
CarolAnn
http://CharismaU.com
I think this extends beyond body size. I lost a great deal of weight a few years ago AND was inspired by a completely separate incident to start dressing up more. I am not thin, by any stretch of the imagination, but I am closer than I ever have been to the aesthetic our culture deems appropriate for women. Mostly I get very nice feedback from strangers or people I’ve just met, but it’s also not uncommon for a woman who has never met me to assume I’m snooty. Not long ago I attended some training classes, and the only other woman present avoided me like the plague. I found out later that yes, she had assumed I was stuck up. I am a very friendly person, actually, and made several attempts to meet her, but she would literally move herself to the other side of the room if she thought I was approaching. I wish I could say this was a rare occurence, but it’s not. And, unlike when I was very overweight and could openly say that someone seemed to be treating me poorly because of my size, it is not really socially acceptable to say I think someone is treating me poorly because I’m closer to what our culture deems attractive. In our culture it’s not even acceptable to acknowledge that one is attractive or smart or a host of other positive things. If you’re “lucky” enough to be thin or attractive or smart or whatever, you deserve the negative reactions, right?
If solidarity between women of all body types is what we’re going for, then this article is pointing us in the wrong direction. Rather than approach these alleged detractors of thindom with reason and compassion (and a necessary understanding of where their attempt at self-valorization is coming from!) the author throws sarcasm and hostility in their faces. That is only going to drive a bigger wedge between thin and thick women and prevent us from respecting and valuing each other– just as so many angry words thrown around in self-defense by stay-at-home moms and working moms fuel the mommy wars instead of promoting respect for any woman’s choice. (or size. or hair color. or orientation. and so on.)
What’s the benefit of the “deal with it” attitude? What’s with the insidious double-mention of some imaginary danish? Are you trying to snark on some hypothetical chubby girl whom you’re subtly putting down as you defend your size? (Does anyone else see the sad paradox here?) I ask in all honestly (not expecting an answer); do you expect this tone to actually help reconcile different kinds of women, all of whom are just trying to feel beautiful? Or are you just going for humor (the hostility is really not that funny), or are you trying to strengthen what you perceive as being your “side” of this body-image battle?
As for choosing someone who wholeheartedly agrees with and applauds the author as “Comment of the Day” and ignoring many other thoughtful comments that were more about the complexity of the issue and the depth of our emotional reactions to it, well… that’s too bad. I know that Gloss isn’t exactly Jezebel, but still.
Accepting all body types doesn’t mean you have to lob backhanded insults and mean-girl comments at the bigger girls while rallying the skinny girls under some false banner of self-defense.
Well, this doesn’t really have all that much to do with body size. This has to do with not being an asshole to people who are different from you. It’s not about people of any particular size, it’s about intolerant people. As for my side, is your side “it’s cool to hate on anyone you feel like?” Because I really don’t feel a need to coddle those people.
Wow, so much anger. Just ignore other “opinions” about your body and focus on health. Eat well, live well, be happy, and stop judging others. Eat for nutrition – exercise for enjoyment. Some people are naturally bigger, some smaller even when living the same lifestyle. I do happen to believe, though, that although obese people should be as loved as anyone else, it isn’t healthy for them in the long run. But I don’t think this article was talking about obesity.
This whole attitude that the media is deciding what is beautiful and what isn’t is crazy. Don’t blame the media. I see ALL sizes represented in Hollywood. Find some beautiful women with your body type and be at peace with it, if you need that boost.
People seem to have a tendency to lash out at others when they have low self-esteem. I think it is sad and very transparent to others that you are feeling jealousy. It makes you look bad and petty. Once you stop judging yourself it will be easy to stop that behaviour and those feelings. I’ve been there and I still struggle at times to accept my body, especially as I’ve gone through pregnancy, but I realized that if anything deserves love, it’s my body.
Right, but my point wasn’t that I’m the only insecure one, it was that the group with the societal advantages shouldn’t complain. I am a middle class white female, so it’s not okay for me to complain about times when my race or class isn’t favored, especially publicly, because such the advantaged classes oppressions aren’t really notable when compared with those the disadvantage classes face.
Imagine you work 50 hours a week and make 19 grand a year, and your best friend is the heir to a billion dollar fortune. Lets say her dad refuses to buy her something nonessential, like a new handbag. Then she complains to you because he’s such a jerk, and she never gets what she wants. Maybe that’s true, maybe he actually refuses to let her buy clothes all the time, but that still seems like a stupid thing to complain about when you can barely afford rent. It’s the same sort of thing, on a smaller scale.
And since you have no idea what I look like, or even which country I’m in, I think I’ll be alright. Good try though, asswipe.
Okay, this is not meant to be a whine feast, I just want to point out a few things…. I have to admit I was glad to see this article at first because I thought it was promoting excepting all women & then you had to throw in the ” Except for people with asymmetrical faces. Those people should wear more make-up.” What the $%^ is that? Geez.
I’m just at a complete loss of how people are so cruel to each other. Yes, I know we can’t help who we are attracted too, I get that, but I wish people would stop being so cruel to people that can’t help the way they look. I guess I’m just utterly screwed because I’m skinny, flat chested & I have a long nose. It’s not like I had a choice of how I turned out!
I also wish that people would stop saying oh they need a nose job or need a boob job. I wish that people would realize that plastic surgery does not work for everyone. Regarding the nose, some people are very lucky & have the right amount of cartilage that the doctor can work with, others not so much so the best the doctor can do is “try “to make it look better. There are some people that nothing can be done, so why make them feel bad? Is it to make yourself feel more beautiful, powerful, dominant over that person?
OhI & I love how guys feel at liberty to make comments about how woman look especially when most of the men that comment are average at best and have their own flaws that they choose to ignore. Do you guys remember a couple of years back when Maxim made the list of the 10 ugliest woman? Can you imagine the pain and hurt that caused some of those woman?
Bottom line is most people can’t help the way they look & I guess people just really don’t give a #$% about how people feel.
I don’t know of anyone who chooses to be unattractive so can’t we just keep our comments to yourself instead of pointing out the obvious and making the person feel like crap? That’s all I’m saying.
yes, exactly.
I’m sick of the fat girl v. skinny girl debate. Let’s all just eat a pint of nice cream, watch some Sex and the City and then get laid. Game over.
Word. <3
Call me naieve, but I can’t believe there are women who think it’s appropriate to to say nasty things about other women’s bodies. Curvey women can be beautiful. Skinny women can be beautiful. Mean women aren’t beautiful.
People who are all “Curvy ladies rule, skinny ladies suck!” are still in the minority(by far!) So I am not really concerned that someone is saying that curvy/fat/chunky/average women rule and skinny ladies suck? Why? Because SKINNY LADIES ARE STILL THE “HOT NORM”. Please write this article again when being curvy/average/chunky/fat is the hot norm. Thanks!
Eh really?
My ex of several months joined a Facebook group along the lines of the first quite in your post quite some time ago. I don’t blame him, personally I find men with a bit of meat on their bones more attractive than rakish twats. But it still made me feel absolutely horrible, and hate my 5’2″ 95lb frame even more than usual.
Skinny isn’t the “Hot Norm” in the real world, just in tabloid/glossy “Journalism”. And I use the J-word as loosely as my size 8 Primark jeans.