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With Real Talk, we ask a bunch of random men the same set of questions, hoping to get a variety of responses. As always (and this is important) we feel compelled to say we’re not rounding up male opinions in the hopes that you’ll average them out and try to live your life according to that average, we do it because we find it interesting. Nothing more, nothing less.
This time, we asked them what importance they placed on a woman’s weight. For example: does it matter to them if a woman is a little overweight/underweight? If their girlfriends gain in a relationship, does it bother them? Is there a certain body type they prefer? If so, how much does it dictate their decisions in seeing someone? Can a woman’s weight affect their overall happiness in a relationship?
Be warned. This one gets a little heated.
[Ed. Note: For the slides, we've used celebrated female nudes throughout art history. I'm tagging this post NSFW because those Egon Schiele's can be pretty racy, but really, nothing here is unsafe for your work unless you work for John David Ashcroft]
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Every one is beautiful , People need to look more on the inside of a person, I am Big Beautiful Woman 5’5 weight in at 217 lb..was A big Babby at birth..9 + lb a chubby child ( other kids made fun at…but mine family told me they are blid why do anyone make a huth ful remark ?..its like going up to tell a blind man at he CAN’t see !
if we were all the same..weight , hair color , its would make life dull…. and its is genes..I didn’t ask to be big ..nor have health problem.. because I know a lot of people who are in good health of mine size who have health trouble..young.& beautiful.or old
And I would like to add that my boyfriend is not insecure and I have had (on multiple occassions) guys try to hook up with me. Although I am over weight, I know how to make myself look good. I may not look like megan fox naked, but I know that my face is beautiful, and my long blond hair is beautiful, and I dress to impress. Not to mention that I am a nursing student so I am on the verge of becoming a very successful women. One thing, my weight, is not going to bring me down. My boyfriend is a plumbing apprentice as well. To me, success and love is most important for now. One day, when I have time, I will lose weight, but as for now the yoga class I do on Thursdays, and the Spin class I do on Friday’s are not cutting it for my sedentary studying lifestyle!
I am considered obese. I am 250 lbs. When I met my boyfriend I was 200 lbs. This was 3.5 years ago. Since I have been with him I have gained 50 lbs because he likes to eat. He is only 165 lbs, and pretty tall too (6’0-6’2ish). I can say that I honestly have had no change in my amazing sex life! My boyfriend gawks at my ass because it’s so big. Some men like it, some don’t.
And as a mater of fact, I am a casual smoker and I am also a nursing student. Yes I am a hypocrit.
But if two people love eachother, it honestly has nothing to do with weight. I do not get to see him everyday like I use to due to my needy educational status but I see him 4 times a week, and we have sex 1-3 times a day when we see eachother.
He has actually told me he would prefer if I do not lose all the weight. My goal weight is 150 lbs; However, he would like me to lose no more than 50 lbs because that would be the weight he met me at. Therefore, we have decided to join a gym so that he can gain MORE muscle, and I can lose the 50 lbs. I am proud of myself but I accept that I must lose weight for the health benefits. I have cut down to 3 smokes a day as well. But, I would also never lose weight for a man, even if he asked me too. I will do this for myself and any man that doesn’t accept whom I am now, would not be worthy of me at any other weight.
I love the honesty of this article. It’s refreshing to find a source that tells it like it is. Most information out there for women is written BY women who think they know the male perspective. 9.9 times out of 10, they are so wrong, it’s laughable. It’s usually sugarcoated with nonsense like, “Oh, he doesn’t care about your cellulite-ridden butt or the extra 30 pounds you’re carrying around. If he loves you, he’ll love you at any size.” Let’s get real. Sure, he might still love you, but will he want to have sex with you? Probably not. No one is saying women have to starve themselves or be unhealthy to be thin. However, for those who choose to skip the gym and find comfort in their brownie fudge pies instead, go for it – just don’t expect to be sexually desired…unless you live in one of those remote villages in Africa where they force the brides-to-be into “feeding barns” to fatten them up for their weddings. In Western civilization, like it or not, the ideal female figure is thin with curves. Men prefer thin – tiny even – size 0,2, or 4 at the absolute most – most guys anyway, not all. And we like big boobs and a nice backside as well. Is this fair? Maybe not. But it’s the truth, and it’s refreshing to hear it for once.
@Athlete-this is probably one of the most intelligent things I’ve read.
Since when can we not tell the truth because it might hurt a few people’s feelings to hear it? Being dangerously overweight-obese-is controllable and life threatening, just like being dangerously underweight is. This ‘free-to-be-you-and-me’ attitude cannot extend to the issue of morbid obesity and hold water. The best example of this right now is a popular TV show that would have us believe that a hot jock would be in love with an obese teenager. Obese, not chubby or curvy or big boned. This is something I feel really strongly about because I’m 5′ 10″ and well within the weight range normal for my height, which is substantially more than if I were 5′ 2″. I don’t walk around weight obsessed because I’m too busy enjoying my life. I can’t imagine what would be like to be so aware of every poc and flaw. I live in rural Texas, where the backyard grill and the Igloo are the main kitchen appliances, and most social functions involve being outdoors, fishing, camping, hunting, and then sitting on our asses eating lots of meat. We work hard. We laugh a lot. If I spent 8 hours a week in a gym my friends would stage an intervention and tell me to get my ass back to the party. This isn’t everyone’s life, and I completely understand we all have different things that crank our tractors, but let’s face it: worrying about the state of your face/waist/rack/ass is not nearly as important as making sure that your body, mind, and spirit are being nourished and kept healthy. To me being wholly healthy means a state of balance in all these things, which is harder to do but infinitely more rewarding.
I have to focus on the good ones here! I’m almost in tears, it makes me so happy to hear this. I’m curvy, and have never had a problem with men. I love my body. I love that it carries me through my life, that it can handle biking to work every day, but also can relax like nobodies business. I love it, and I’ve never been skinny, and I never will be, and no man has ever taken issue with that. So I’m loving reading these guys say this so loudly! Loving yourself goes a really long way in this life.
I am also going to say this. The guys who don’t care about weight, who want you to be happy are the good ones. The girls who are overly concerned about weight, meaning they are super, unnaturally skinny, they are unhappy. I know that I don’t have the best body, but I am working on being happy and repairing the damage or my past with those duchebaggy guys and some of my female friends. If you are happy with you eat fairly healthy and are overly inactive, then your body will be at an appropriate weight. Thanks to the good guys and I don’t need you to the doucge bags. Grow up, figure out what you need to be happy and get that.
Frank- eating disorders do kill people and being fat because you eat to much is an eating disorder. I would never want to be with someone who say I want to F**K you. Please grow up and work on your own insecurities and then you can be happy to. I am not wither saying that fat is ok, it is unhealthy. People who are fat, usually aren’t healthy because they don’t have love or support and it is VERY CERY difficult to find that strength within yourself to change your life. Especially when you don’t have the ability (including knowledge) to get out of that situation. That is a cycle. Please, Frank, man up and work on your self.-
I am female, over 40 and fit and healthy, and NOT FAT. I work out 6 days a week because I care about my health. My weight impacts my health, therefore I want to control it and keep it at a level where I will not end up with diabetes, obesity, heart problems. I can’t stand seeing young girls walking around in various stages of obesity. Thery are letting themselves down and besides this, they look revolting. Don’t tell me you’re happy with being “curvy”. It ain’t curves sister, it’s lumps and bulges and it’s going to lead you to an early grave!! The only guys who like fat chicks are insecure ones who want to make sure nobody else is doing them while they are out of town.
[edit: this wasn't meant to post as a reply to anyone, computer glitch apparently :S ]
…
I’m a female and I work out twice a day, every day of the week and I’d just like to say, THANK YOU! This here is the truth. Fat is not beautiful, it’s not natural. We need only to look into the past to see that. Our bodies were created to hunt and fight, we’ve just let ourselves get lazy and have labelled that ‘curvy.’ Stop excusing your inactivity and/or overeating ladies! I don’t work as hard as I do on my body for any man, I do it because I respect myself and I like to feel good. Endorphins are my drug! Join the club, we don’t have jackets, but we have great self esteem!
I’d say that like any animal, humans are really driven to survive more than specifically hunt and fight. Part of survival is hording energy sources, which includes a fat layer. People with fat reserves survive longer in times of famine. Wouldn’t that make people who are physically capable and active but not very lean MORE evolutionarily prepared?
Also, working out twice a day makes you happy and I’m not trying to take that away from you, but you should know you’re lucky. Working out never made me anything but miserable, even when I did it consistently [as in 8-12 hours a week]. I stopped because that was viable when I had a desk job; now I spend most of my day on my feet working on cars, and while I love it after that the last thing I want to do is spend more time running around. I WISH I could get the satisfaction out of exercising that a lot of people I know do, but I’m just not like that. Food, sex, and getting to be lazy in my rare spare moments make me much happier than planning my life around workouts ever came close to. Just because I’m fatter now doesn’t mean I’m not still strong and capable and awesome anyway. And dammit, I can still turn heads even if I’m not anywhere close to my old size four.
@M ..
I get what you’re saying and from the sounds of it you are not one of the people I am intentionally targeting anyway, but thank you for your reply.
I’m sorry that you don’t get enjoyment from exercise. When I first started a proper regime, about a year ago, it was absolute murder and a lot of the time I wanted to die. It’s really horrible that something so good for us can makes us feel so bad, but I’ve kept at it and now its one of my favourite parts of the day. I am very lucky though, as you said and am fortunate to be in a situation where I can study and work and still have time for exercise (I am only 19 & I don’t have children or much else to worry about, its all ‘me, me, me’ as they say)
As for the survival vs. hunting, the saying is ‘survival of the fittest’, right? I know that is realistically outdated in most societies but as a history major I LOVE to think of things in terms of how one would live back then (& then be completely hypocritical as I type this into my laptop of course).
Honestly though, this article mainly hit home for me as I live in a small town in Australia which I have come to believe generates the majority of Australia’s obesity statistics. I kid you not. I guess I was just happy to see an article that tells it like it is. I just hope that more women read it without taking it as a personal dig and instead allow it to inspire them.
I definitely understand how the stereotypes of your surroundings and your experiences color your mindset. It goes the other way but my family is almost all incredibly tiny, and it’s definitely a continued balancing act to be comfortable with the fact that I’ll never be like any of them [and even when I was literally so skinny I was dying I still looked like 'the fat one'].
As the article and opinions go, I’d like to think I’ve pretty much gotten to the point where other people’s opinions aren’t the main influences on my own. Everyone likes what they like, after all. I don’t really have any issues with people saying ‘I’m attracted primarily to skinny/fat/three-legged/eight feet tall/cyclopses/whatever’; after all, we can’t control our hormones. If we could, being gay would be a choice. Everyone has Their Thing: it would make a lot of people go ‘EW’, but nothing can turn me on as instantly as a person I find attractive in pain. Our bodies want what they want, and [unless what you want involves a lack of consent and you act on it] there shouldn’t be shame in it. However, I immediately swing back to being all judgey when some people express opinions that make it clear that they think anyone who doesn’t fall into their cookie-cutter ideal is automatically inferior and broken. If working out a lot is what makes you happy and your life is better and more fulfilling for it, as long as you’re not taking it to an unhealthy extreme I think that’s awesome. After all, we have to do what’s right for us. :)
@M..
I feel a little tempted to do a one-eighty and say ‘you are right!’ since you argue your point amazingly! However I am a stubborn little cow and will stand by my guns (haha)
I like to put my tough stance on fatness down to the fact that I am not one of those naturally skinny girls you see chowing down a bigMac one minute and laying around in a bikini looking like they’ve come straight from the set of Baywatch (yes I know terribly lame reference, I apologise) the next. In fact, screw them! (haha) I’ve had to work hard for every kilo lost & muscle gained. Maybe that’s what makes me so ‘anti-fat’ or more ‘pro excercise’ as i like to think of it. I see working out (especially on the most basic levels) as an easy activity that everyone can do, no excuses, unless you are dead! But well, whatever it is that makes me the narcissistic, judgy, fitness-junkie b**** I probably come across as, it is what it is.
I would like to add though, that I applaud you for being so comfortable and happy in your own skin, I would love it everyone could feel that way! I’m just of the opinion (however arguable) that most people won’t attain that hapiness if they don’t treat their bodies right & until then they are only fooling themselves. (& i mean all this purely on a physical level. Mental &/or emotional happiness is a completely different issue and one which I honestly can say I have no right to touch)
Just because I am overweight it doesn’t mean I don’t work out or I don’t enjoy it. I did Taekwondo for two years, two times a week. That was so hard and so painful that I sometimes almost puked but I loved it. I could totally kick ass but I was still chubby. Now I am doing yoga two times a week and it gives me similar satisfaction plus a rather good muscle tone. I ride my bike, I do exercises at home, I am fit and healthy. I do enjoy feeling my muscles work and seeing them develope. Doesn’t mean I am going to switch from sandwich to salad anytime soon, sorry. I love baking, I love cooking and although I take care that I don’t eat mass produced shit I still eat butter and sometimes chocolate. And I am happy. So as long as I am not risking my health and I am happy I don’t see why I should do what you do – even though I am overweight.
@Hanna ..
what do you mean you shouldn’t have to ‘do what you(I) do’ ? All I’m suggesting is that a little exercise never hurt anyone and should be a part of everyone’s daily life. While I don’t condone someone who recongises themself as being overweight only doing low cardio workouts just twice a week, it is not my business and I am no fitness instructor or doctor!
I just hope that you are not someone who then complains about your weight.
Realistically talking unless we are born with killer metabolisms (good i wish i were) we should idealy diet AND exercise. Theres no way around it. That said, I am no diet nazi! I enjoy chocolate just as much as the next girl, but when i’m not treating myself I try to eat as well as I can without starving.. it works for me.
Doing what you do means working out twice a day, 7 days a week. Which is probably overdoing it a bit, from a health point of view.
Yes, I only do yoga twice a week which is low cardio and high pain, but, as I wrote, I also do exercises at home and ride my bike. And that is completely sufficient for keeping me healthy and fit. Which I want to be. And no, I don’t complain about my weight to anyone, that would be stupid. I think that everyone should exercise regularly, take the stairs instead of the elevator, walk instead of taking the bus, stay away from processed stuff, cigarettes and booze, eat veggies and fruit everyday, etc. etc. So we are on the same page, I have just lower standards than you and as long as I can stay healthy the way I live I don’t see a reason to become more obsessed.
Sometimes it just makes me angry that people think because I am overweight I don’t care about my body or I don’t know about proper nutrition or I don’t exercise. I am probably more fit, more flexible and healthier than the people assuming that.
@Hanna..
It’s only overdoing it if my body can’t handle it, which I’m lucky enough that it can & I’d like to point out again that I never actually said that anyone should follow my exercise program. I simply encouraged girls to ‘join the club’ by which I meant the endorphin loving, body moving club where you aren’t an inactive lump 7 days a week and think that’s okay.
I did miss the bit where you said you ride etc. That’s great you choose those options. Most of what I’ve read says we need to do 30-60 minutes of planned exercise at least 3 days a week to maintain our health, so to anyone doing that, I have no ‘beef’ with you.
I get where you’re coming from though, taking my view on ‘if you’re fat you either overeat or are inactive’ negatively but your case is not a common one and I was making a generalised statement. Most fat people in my experience are normally ignorant, lazy and/or negligent.
Also, of course you’ll be fitter/more flexible/healthier than someone who doesn’t do any exercise. I’m not saying, “YAY for lazy skinny girls” either, everyone should exercise, there is just a higher pressure on ‘fat girls’ because excessive (!) fatness (I’m not talking about a roll here and there, I’m talking about fat, fat) is not a natural thing for the human body.
I said I was overweight, not fat. I can see my feet, I can touch my feet, in fact, I can touch my feet to my forehead.
I used to whine how it was hard to get exercise. Used to whine about my weight, too. I started yoga. Once a week, then twice a week, for a while I did three lessons a week but I felt that it was too much. Then I just started walking instead of taking the subway or the bus and I really enjoyed that. And then I got a bike and now I love riding it so much I can’t believe why I have waited so long. It’s all about the first step, I guess. I used to hate whole-grain bread, now it’s the only thing I eat. I will never be petite, I will never have long legs or slender arms but I can be fit and healthy and that’s the goal.
What I really wanted to say, I guess, is that it’s more what you do and what you put inside your body than what size you are – within reasonable limits. Funnily enough, I really don’t take it personally anymore if a guy isn’t into me because I am too fat for him. After all, it IS not personal. I think that is a sign that I am starting to accept my body which in turn makes it easier to work with it and improve it. But if a guy really can’t see beyond my upper thighs he can kiss my large but very shapely ass.
So we have similar stances on it then?
Excercise is good, ignorance is not bliss?
Body type cannot be changed but extra, unecessary ‘baggage’ is just that, unecessary.
:)
Sooo…all I really got from this was: Men are just like women, they all like different things.
BTW, to the guy who was all “fat is ugly” and then assumed all women like muscled/skinny guys? What planet do you live on? Cause I’m pretty sure it isn’t earth.
The last guy I dated was 6’2, 275, and I thought he was gorgeous. Not just “hot because I like him” hot, but straight up I would check him out on the street as a stranger hot. The boyfriend before that was 6′ and 150 fully clothed and soaking wet. He had a 31 inch waist. I thought the big dude was *WAY* hotter than the small one. So much so that I won’t be venturing back into the land of skinny and/or muscled dudes (muscled dudes look like they make really uncomfortable human pillows…) again.
Your opinion & tastes != everyone’s.
I get it if a man says that he doesn’t want to be with an overweight woman because she doesn’t appeal to him sexually. No crime in that. A crime indeed is a guy who only takes an interest in women he would like to screw. THAT makes him an assface.
I agree with the New York – Panama thing. I fancied guys from 5 ft 7 to 6 ft 6, brunette, blonde, red head, you name it, dangerously skinny to chubby, but I never fancied an obese man. I am not ashamed of it. It’s a purely physical reaction. Nobody should take that personally. I’d go from Mexico City to Seattle but Anchorage is just too far out there. Sorry.
I never cease to be amazed at the shallowness of most men. It’s who the person is inside not what the person looks like outside. Give me a soft warm, loving fat girl any time but keep the skinny self centered ones every time.
Look, everyone knows that the heavier you are the uglier you are ceteris paribus. Women like to throw a fit when they hear this, but it is a fact. And the reason they like to throw a fit is usually because they are too heavy and they know this.
There is a range of body size between which it is a matter of taste as to which men prefer. Some prefer super-petite, say Ashley Olsen, others prefer a little larger – but not too much larger (and some people have a fetish either for fat or anorexic, but they are outliers). We discuss this. A lot. Some “larger” women are hot, but by “larger” we usually mean Scarlett Johansson.
If you have even the makings of a muffin-top, even a slight belly-overhang, or fat legs and a fat wobbly ass, we would really, *really*, rather you didn’t. Of course, we will still sleep with you (maybe), go out with you, love you, maybe marry you and be happy with you forever (definitely). But we would still prefer you to be slim and toned.
We will always *always* secretly, or maybe not so secretly if you start to really get heavier, wish you were more slim. The women we beat off over are slim, the women we lust after in bars and at work are slim, the women we regret not sleeping with the most are the slim ones. Etc etc.
But things are exactly the same with you. Women don’t want a fat guy, do they? Everyone knows this, so why bother pretending otherwise.
Stop thinking that it’s the exactly the same for everyone else. You’re only accountable for your feelings on this, just like you’re essentially responsible for your own happiness with or without a partner, who you find physically desirable. Don’t mire me, or anyone else, down in your very narrow range of specifications. And don’t, for one moment, assume one thing about what makes me come. (Here’s a hint, though: it has nothing to do with BMI.)
What I find sexy isn’t always 100% what I find esthetically pleasing. And what I find esthetically pleasing I don’t always find sexy. In fact, I very rarely find the average empirical “hotness” very sexy. So, I’m very fortunate in this regard, especially compared to someone like yourself: my attraction to someone isn’t hinged on how they look in their shorts (or their bikini). Bodies change! Even if you don’t want them to. Eventually, we all become flaccid, fragile sacks of meat and fat, bone and hair, so if I were you, I’d find something else to obsess over.
Also, and I meant to say this in my earlier screed: There is NOTHING quite so unsexy as someone who is self-obsessed, in any form. Be it obsessed with their hair, fitness, psychoanalysis, creativity, attractiveness, righteousness, or wealth. Seriously, nothing. It’s important to love yourself, and be confident, and happy/healthy in body and mind, it is, but for crying out loud, people, seriously: No one looks great with their head this far up their own ass.
I’m a female and I work out twice a day, every day of the week and I’d just like to say, THANK YOU! This here is the truth. Fat is not beautiful, it’s not natural. We need only to look into the past to see that. Our bodies were created to hunt and fight, we’ve just let ourselves get lazy and have labelled that ‘curvy.’ Stop excusing your inactivity and/or overeating ladies! I don’t work as hard as I do on my body for any man, I do it because I respect myself and I like to feel good. Endorphins are my drug! Join the club, we don’t have jackets, but we have great self esteem!
Phil’s porn vs models comment was really interesting. I hadn’t thought of it that way before!
Judging by the number of comments, I’m not the only one who found this interesting. My standards for women and men tend to be: don’t be too bony, and don’t have rolls when you’re standing up. Either of those and I can’t get turned on anymore. Neither situation makes someone a terrible person, it just makes someone unsexy in my eyes [but don't fret! I don't have the only eyes]. I’ve been in lust with people all across the spectrum in between: there’s always at least one bewitching thing to notice, and if I have a crush it’ll grow on me more and more until something about them irresistibly sexy. Sometimes it’s a physical feature, sometimes it’s just how someone walks or sleeps or handles a wrench or plays an instrument.
During my dating life I’ve been thinnish to fattish, but I have a broad frame so I’ve never looked skinny clothed [even when I was unhealthily thin with a pretty awful eating disorder: passing out, no periods, freezing all the time, losing my hair, the works, I still didn't look skinny clothed]. Only one ex of mine has admitted to loving freakishly thin girls. He admits that his ideal chick is tall, bottle-blonde, painfully thin [like legitimately emaciated: just a little muscle and no fat], with big ol’ round bolt-on tits, and chained to a radiator. He also freely admits to the fact that his Ideal Female Archetype absolutely does not occur in nature and really shouldn’t, and that this probably makes him a terrible person. But hey, the penis wants what it wants. And obviously he’s not too hung up on it since he never had anything but good things to say about me and I’m pretty much exactly the opposite: short, Asian, belly pooch, broad shoulders and hips, and boobs that look like they’ve seen some gravity.
I got lucky: my current boyfriend likes them big. He still complains about fat people which confuses me a little, but I think he hasn’t quite learned to be able to vocalize ‘This is what I find sexy and this is what’s big enough I can’t anymore and when I can’t it disturbs me’, or maybe he’s just more of an ass than I’m willing to see because I love him. But I was pretty fit when we met and he still lusted, and I’ve gained about thirty pounds since [not because we're dating; because I have no time to work out anymore and I eat like shit because I'm broke] and he still lusts now. Plus even though I’m up to about a 12/14 his last girlfriend has still definitely got some meat on me, so I guess I’m not pushing his limits yet. Though her boobs are also a lot bigger. And she also knows how to dress her body a lot better than I’ll ever figure out.
Honestly, I’m not gona get offended because some one says that “fat people” are unattractive and inherently bad. That is that persons oppinion regardless of whether it is correct or not.
That said, as a woman who would be labled “fat” by these same people, I have to say thank you. I was once (almost) with some one that loved my T&A but didnt like that I had a belly. Every girl he had been with before then had been rail thin. However, I was also in better shape than any of those girls. I jogged 2 miles every night at the beach. I did 2 hours of aerobics every other day and yoga. I would rather be with someone who likes me for the person I am and all that I am, then someone who likes me conditionally.
I am a “fat girl” that can run up three flights of stairs with out getting winded when my “skinny” friend would be panting.
I dont think its a crime to like a certain body type. If you like skinny women, great. If you like toned women, great. If you like women with “meat, great.
But if you are going to make a statement like fat people dont respect their bodies and are all lazy, couch potatoes who shovel ben & jerry’s into their mouths by the gallon, I think you need to reassess your perception of healthy. Medically, there are people who look skinny but have a BMI that places them in the obese range. There are fat people who excersise and eat healthy but have another issue that prevents them from being thin. Don’t judge everyone by the stereotype.
And again, I am not condeming anyone. Everyone is entitled to have their own preferences. If you judge them for not liking what you think they should, then you are hardly better than them in the first place.
What that saying about casting stones when you live in a house of glass, or something?
so, lemme see if I have this right:
fat = bad person
frank = good person
Pass me a motherfucking cheeseburger.
Frank, learn some medical science plz. Saying that obesity is more dangerous than eating disorders is like saying that smoking is worse than shooting heroin: it kills more people in the long run because more people do it, but it doesn’t have the same short term effects. Obviously Frank is going on a health crusade because he thinks that fat people are EWW GROSS. He doesn’t have to fuck fat women but he can at least treat them like human beings.
If I could, I’d ask for Sandy’s and Mike’s adresses so I could send them a very nice bottle of wine.
Coming from someone who has five older brothers and seeing the women they dated and found attractive (singers, actresses and whatnot); variety and confidence was the norm.
I never really cared about how men perceived my body, I was too concerned with my own view on the subject. I was never overweight, from any standard, but when I was 18 I thought I was the fattest woman on the planet (shocking, right? A young woman feeling fat, never heard of THAT before) so I did what any sane person would: I exercised 3 hours a day; and allowed myself onlt 800 calories per day. I went from 52 kg (I’m 1m60) to 45 kg in less than two months. My brothers gave me concerned looks, but it was when I refused to eat anything but a small salad at one of my brother’s birthday bash that the shit hit the fan. They all told me I was being absolutely ridiculous, and that I was getting really ugly and unbelievingly miserable. When they used those two words, my brain short-circuited. They told me all the things most guys said; that there’s a difference between healthy and skinny, and that I was a pain to be around.
I agree 100% with the guys that say that a person who doesn’t value her/his health is a turnoff. I value mine dearly, especially after my brothers slapped me around a bit.
When I think of the guys I dated and date, I never went for an obviously fat one. Pot belly, beer belly, a bit too skinny, supermodel handsome; yes. But fat no. It is probably because we are taught to think that only fat people are unhealthy and we have a duped view on what FAT is. Most guys relate being overweight with being obese. And yeah, obesity is not something to celebrate, just like anorexia or bulimia. Or fucking crazy diets, or girls who relate eating a sandwich with stuffing their faces.
Most guys sound like great people who should tell every salad eating out there to have a sandwich; and then lots and lots and LOTS of sex. Be confident and healthy; I don’t think those guys are asking for much.