Subscribe
As Jessica Simpson travels the world to uncover international beauty rituals, some of us are suffering in the name of looking good right here in the US of A.
Why, just this week I had hair removed from my person in two entirely different ways, both of which hurt like hell. And as I was lying there today, under the searing laser of the hair-removal machine, I was wondering — why the fuck am I doing this?
I didn’t come up with a good answer, other than that excess body hair makes me really self-conscious (yes, because of unfair beauty standards, the pressure of which I have yet to figure out how to buck), but I did come up with the idea to take a look at the amount of money and pain that we (OK…I) go through in an average year to meet American standards of beauty. Prices include tip, and the pain scale that I made up for this exercise is from 1 to 5, with 5 being the most painful. (Relatively. Not as compared to, say, having a limb cut off.)
Eyebrow Maintenance
Cost: $15 every three weeks for threading
Pain Level: 4
Pedicures
Cost: $25 a month (slacker)
Pain Level: 1
Exercise
Cost: $59 a month
Pain Level: 3
Makeup
Cost: $25 a month
Pain Level: 1, barring an accident
Hair Cut and Color
Cost: $160 every three months 640
Pain Level: 1
Laser Hair Removal
Cost: $150 a session, 4 sessions = $600
Pain Level: 5
Beauty Products, i.e. lotions, scrubs, cleansers, toners, etc.
Cost: $40 a month (approximately)
Pain Level: 1
Total Cost: $3,323
Pain Average: 2.29
So there you have it. I could put down a payment on a car, or I could continue my beauty rituals, none of which are a necessity but rather a result of my cowtowing to fashion.
I wish that I could say that this little exercise will change my behavior, but I doubt it will. I think that’s in part because some of these beauty rituals, like pedicures, have become equated with “fun” in my mind, and are likely to stay that way. Also, it’s really, really, really hard to figure out a way to have body hair in places you don’t want it and a unibrow, as a woman, and still feel good about yourself when you’re likely to be mocked as a hippie/radical feminist, and would be seen as sloppy and not keeping up.
What do you think? Are these rituals just part of basic hygiene and grooming, like shaving for men, or are they opressive standards?
38 days ago
those wearing little makeup on a clean complexion are far more appealing than those wearing a lot imo
Reply
38 days ago
Well, men shave to look less aggressive and younger, so they do receive some serious social benefits with minimal, if daily, effort. Even men with beards are encouraged to keep them kemp. Women are generally expected to keep themselves to a level of polish required by their social bracket, with the wealthiest held to the highest standard. You’re supposed to pay what you’re expected to afford, I guess. As far as exercise goes, though, shouldn’t it be less of a “grooming” thing and more of a “health” thing, unless you’re a body builder? A gym membership should be more than just to pay for slim thighs, so I could justify it as a non-bullshit beauty expense. Also, you pay $15 for an eyebrow threading? I get mine done for about $6 in NYC, which I think is standard.
Reply
38 days ago
I know it’s a lot of money considering this economy, however I feel that women have to keep themselves up to maintenance so to speak because if we don’t, modern society is going to tell us we look crappy and eventually we do feel crappy. I know if I don’t get my hair done and if I don’t wear make up, have my eyebrows done…etc I feel very unkempt and not attractive.
Reply