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When your manicurist asks you “square or round?” she’s really asking you “what kind of person are you? DECIDE NOW.” So here is an illustrated guide to assist you. I have made it helpfully specific/accurate.
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what a joke
Square-cut last longer than round? The things you learn.
oh jennifer, you are the only one who understands my pointy-tipped despair. although cutting a bitch is necessary, once in a while.
OMG! So I can pick out one thing out of each column that pertains to me easier to list the doesn’t pertain to me… Round tips: everything except, I don’t drink, I don’t play the victim, and I HATE pearls… Square tips: Everything except, I would NOT allow my 10 yr old girl to wear sweatpants with any word emblazoned across the butt. There’s no Juicy Couture anywhere in my closet, and again, I don’t drink…
Pointed tips: I really would cut a bitch. Def not affraid of the world, really don’t want to be held, and DEF do not brush up against people ANYWHERE (i could catch something). (and yes my fav drink is a mint choc chip milk shake! LOL)… Almond Tips: it’s so NOT hard wanting so damn much. I do eventually end up with what I want. I am a girl in the world, but I know how to use it! I don’t wear berets, I like pony tails. Hair in my face makes me violent. I hate coffee, and I do not have a boss, but I am generally indifferent towards them when I do.
Bitten nails: Yep, I am pretty paranoid. But, I am NOT fascinated by the apocalypse, relaxation is NOT stressful. I would LOVE it if Heaven were a garden. I hope Heaven is a city, but more like the hobbit’s shire, and DEF NO vespas… Talons: That is is just funny! can you imagine painting those things? NO THANKS! lol…
So, what kind of nail tip am I???
Schizo tips. They’re kind of jagged, but with really carefully applied white polish in a strip at the end. Good for playing guitar but not so much piano. Depending on the party, they will either draw everyone’s friendship or nobody’s.
OMG! So I can pick out one thing out of each column that pertains to me easier to list the doesn’t pertain to me… Round tips: everything except, I don’t drink, I don’t play the victim, and I HATE pearls… Square tips: Everything except, I would NOT allow my 10 yr old girl to wear sweatpants with any word emblazoned across the butt. There’s no Juicy Couture anywhere in my closet, and again, I don’t drink…
Pointed tips: I really would cut a bitch. Def not affraid of the world, really don’t want to be held, and DEF do not brush up against people ANYWHERE (i could catch something). (and yes my fav drink is a mint choc chip milk shake! LOL)… Almond Tips: it’s so NOT hard wanting so damn much. I do eventually end up with what I want. I am a girl in the world, but I know how to use it! I don’t wear berets, I like pony tails. Hair in my face makes me violent. I hate coffee, and I do not have a boss, but I am generally indifferent towards them when I do.
Bitten nails: Yep, I am pretty paranoid. But, I am NOT fascinated by the apocalypse, relaxation is NOT stressful. You would LOVE it if Heaven were a garden. You hope Heaven is a city, but more like the hobbit’s shire, and DEF NO vespas… Talons: That is is just funny! can you imagine painting those things? NO THANKS! lol…
So, what kind of nail tip am I???
You have thoroughly cracked my ass up. :) Even my husband is over there laughing at the dinosaur comment. Good stuff (and actually pretty accurate, at least as far as the almond shape nails go, well, except for the ramen thing. I have no opinion about ramen.) BTW, now you have me feeling bad for the pointy nailed ladies out there.
Jennifer Wright, this pseudo-psychological article screams “I am unintelligent so I over stereotype in hopes to set a new precedent”. Poor writing coupled with even worse ideology makes this article a joke. Would it kill you to research what you write about rather than just writing your feeble-minded assumptions?
I like round nails – & pearls. But I bite my nails terribly unless I keep the fake ones done at the nail salon. So according to the description of my personality, I’m a mess – but loving it.
Ha !! Funny but doesn’t fit for me. I have had sqaure shape for 20 years but my personality is exactly like the “round” description. BUT… I have been thinking I should change to round. Square is to me somewhat 80′s, I am just a creature of habit !!
Mine are almond shaped… this was completely accurate. You’re good.
Strangely accurate.
I really like your writing style. Keep rollin’ girl, keep rollin’.
This is the problem now, foul mouthed journalist think it is cool and so it is seen by everyone, young people who are influenced by their lack in vocabulary.
Please… does everything have to be analyzed and reported as if this is funny ?
Is there a better way to spend your time? I think so, like go back to school and how bout learn what class and editing and tack are.
Tack? Wait, that means… THE SCHOOL IS GOING TO BE ON A SAILBOAT!? Oh, of course it is, that’s where everyone learns about class. Sign me up!
CCdhbart,
Talk about going back to school – with no less than seven grammatical and punctuation errors in your brief and rambling post, perhaps you are the one most in need of further education.
I can’t even tell you how weirdly accurate this was about me. i bite my nails and my favorite drink totally is mulled wine! how did you do this?
i really hope i’m not that depressing and paranoid. ugh!
Really?! Who writes this stuff?
Really?! Who writes this stuff?
Hahaha Isn’t physical stereotyping fun? Like how in elementary school ALL girls who wore french-braids with bows were into horses? Totes.
This is the best description of ANYTHING, EVER!!!! You are truly hilarious!
Looking at the options you just gave me, i really can’t decide what shape i’m going to get myself next. It’s like i can identify with all of those characters, except maybe the dinosaurs. Meh, i’ve got ten fingers. There’s plenty of space for variety.
Yeesh! All I know is: I am NOT a dinosaur!
what about people who don’t do anything to their nails except clip them when they get too long/dirty? i never file mine, nor do i bite them, and my nails don’t fit any of these categories. :(