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Which Disney prince would make the best real-life boyfriend? This question is constantly up for debate; though honestly, I wonder if the answer is really any of them. I mean, think about it: would YOU really want to date any of the Disney princes?
Don’t get me wrong: I love Disney. The movies are like security blankets for me. I’ve been to both Disney World and Disneyland a disgusting amount of times. In fact, I’ve spent my birthday on Disney property once every four years from the year I turned sixteen onward (this was largely by accident, but it’s still true). But though I love the movies and maintain that you’re never to old for amusement parks, I’m still rather baffled by the whole Disney princess thing– or rather, the aggressive marketing of all things princess to little girls. And this is why I think that most, if not all, of the Disney princes should actually be filed under the category of At Least Mildly Troubling, If Not Downright Abusive, Boyfriends.
Most little girls– or at least, most American little girls– grow up these days with “the princess phase” factoring prominently in their development. This is hardly a new phenomenon; in fact, I’m pretty sure that as long as there have been fairy tales, there have been little girls (and probably little boys as well) wishing fervently that one day their prince will come. It only starts to get weird when money starts to come into it. Peggy Orenstein examines this issue in depth in her recently released book Cinderella Ate My Daughter, and she may have a point. It’s painfully obvious that the main point of all the marketing and retail hullabaloo is really all about making companies lots and lots of money; but at what psychological costs to children?
The Disney Princess line caters specifically to this dream, with its key players being Snow White, Cinderella, Aurora of Sleeping Beauty, Ariel, Belle, Jasmine, Pocahontas, Mulan, Tiana from The Princess and the Frog, and most recently Tangled’s Rapunzel. Through toys, costumes, even complete makeovers at Disney’s Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique for as much as $280, the Princess franchise seeks to turn your little princess into an actually Little Princess, often at absurd costs. Consider, though, the princes that go along with these plucky young heroines:
Prince Ferdinand
Yes, Snow White’s prince has a name. And yet, I’m not surprised that we don’t know his name, given that all he does is suddenly appear at the end, solely for the purposes of falling in love with a dead chick. He’s a plot point more than anything else, and he’s a necrophiliac plot point at that.
Cinderella’s Nameless Prince
This is the guy we usually think of as Prince Charming, but Charming is not his name. Unlike Ferdinand, he doesn’t even have one; he’s just the Prince. Furthermore, he’s a prince who doesn’t want to get married in the first place, so he’s sort of a deadbeat. I can’t really blame him– in a world of arranged marriages, who can?– but even allowing for that, he still wouldn’t make great boyfriend material, purely because it’s unlikely that he’ll stick around.
Prince Phillip
Aurora’s prince, on the other hand, DOES have a name. And you know what? In spite of the fact that he may be a little bland personality-wise, Phillip is the only prince on the list that may actually be worth the trouble. He’s just as in love with her when he thinks she’s a peasant as when he finds out she’s a princess, and he’s willing to fight for her either way. He even stands up to his dad for her. And then he fights a monster for her. That’s dedication.
Prince Eric
Ariel’s prince? Kind of a problem. You can make the argument that he falls for Ariel because she’s a free spirit who opens his eyes to a different way of living, which is in fact pretty admirable; but the bottom line is that he never hears her utter a word, so it’s unlikely that he’s interested in her for her brains. Not that there’s anything wrong with physical attraction– it’s just that physical attraction usually isn’t enough of a foundation on which to build a relationship.
The Beast
Aaaaaand you guessed it: Beast has a name too. It’s Adam. Who knew? Here, though, we’ve got what I consider to be one of the weirdest situations on the list: he kidnaps Belle, he’s got some serious anger management issues, and in spite of all that, she subsequently goes all Stockholm Syndrome. He also has no friends of his own (I’m not really sure we can count the talking candlestick as a friend, given that Lumiere lives to serve), which means that he relies on Belle for all of his human (beastly?) contact. This cannot possibly be healthy.
Aladdin
Falling for Aladdin is the equivalent of falling for one of those internet sweetheart scams. He’s not who he says he is, he’s a compulsive liar, and he’s a con man. Stay away.
Captain John Smith
The guy’s a colonist. He’ll trash your family, he’ll try to change everything about you, and then he’ll drag you off to his choice of residence and display you as a trophy. Fun!
Captain Li Shang
Mulan had a pretty awesome military career in the works, but she was forced to give it up because the astoundingly sexist Captain Li Shang told her girls can’t be soldiers. Sure, he excused it by saying that in disguising herself, she dishonored herself, her family, and probably the entire nation of China; but I mean, really? Really?!
Prince Naveen
Naveen’s parents have disowned him, so he treks on down to New Orleans with the intention of marrying a rich southern belle. If he’s only after you for your money, he’s not worth it. Gold diggers are never good news.
Flynn Rider
Rapunzel’s supposed prince isn’t too dissimilar from Aladdin: he’s a thief who lies about who he is. He’s also kind of useless– Rapunzel is always saving his ass. Good for her!… but then again, she’s always having to bail out her guy. Lame.
On a case by case basis, not many of these guys are making a strong case for a caring partner. Phillip is the exception, but he’s only one out of ten. What are we supposed to take away from the other nine? Is this really the best we can expect to do in the boyfriend department? If this is what Disney is telling us, there doesn’t seem to be a lot of hope for finding a guy (or girl) with whom you can have a happy, healthy relationship. Furthermore, do we even need to end up with a prince in the first place? It’s possible to be perfectly happy without one. Gone are the days of the spinster aunt– it’s not a stigma we need to worry about anymore. So why not embrace it instead?
It’s true that the princesses have gotten stronger overall as time has gone on. While the earlier princesses (Snow White, Cinderella, Aurora, etc.) take a mostly passive role in their own stories, the later princesses have gone on to join the army (Mulan) and run their own businesses (Tiana). And yeah, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to look like a pretty pretty princess, no matter what your age or gender. Perhaps most importantly, I suppose that the flip side is that we can look at these couples as examples of love going strong even in the face of some pretty serious flaws. But I don’t know. Something still makes me go “eugh” about the whole thing. Maybe it all boils down to the fact that the princes are largely non-entities. I suspect this is why so many of them either don’t have names or have names that no one can actually remember– they’re ideas, not people. Furthermore, when they ARE people, they don’t appear to be terribly GOOD people (why, for example, are there so many thieves in the bunch?). I can only conclude that when you consider all of these supposed “Prince Charmings”, who wants to date a guy who yells at you, lies to you, steals from you, and is only interested in you for your looks?
What do you think? Can princes and princesses be a healthy reality?
Forget princes, find a real-life, fun dude who will go on a crazy date with you. Visit our dating page, brought to you in partnership with HowAboutWe and suggest anything you’ve been wanting to do!
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What a misandric article!
1) Prince Ferdinand- Being a plot point doesn’t make you abusive. As far as him kissing her after she died….I don’t see any articles griping about Buffy or Sookie….who also kissed dead people.
2) Cinderellas nameless prince- So not wanting to get married makes a man a deadbeat? Do you call women who don’t want to get married deadbeats as well? No? And how do you know he won’t stick around? Jut because he didn’t he didn’t want to get married at one point in time that means he cant EVER change his mind? Because he didn’t want to get married before he even met Cinderella he’s ALWAYS going to be a deadbeat bachelor? Give me a break, this is just ridiculous.
3) Prince Phillip- Nothing to say there. You didn’t totally screw that one up.
Prince Eric- Again with the double standard. Ariel ALSO fell for Prince Eric at first sight, she didn’t exactly care to what was on his mind before she went to Ursula and signed away her soul (or voice.) I’m also failing to see how this makes Eric abusive.
The Beast- I actually agree with you. I’m pretty sure Belle developed Stockholm syndrome.
Aladdin-I agree that he’s a liar and con man…but failing to see how this makes him abusive. Also, he lied because he didn’t think Princess Jasmine would love him if he wasn’t a prince. I could argue that if women didn’t care about petty things like money that he wouldn’t have had to lie. Remember he changed who he was for HER. Which would make Jasmine the abusive one.
Captain John Smith-Agreed. He’s a jerk.
Captain Li Shang- Agreed he was a jerk at the beginning but if I recall correctly he saw the error in his ways and helped Mulan save the day the apologized (kinda) in actual ancient China that probably would have gotten him killed.
Prince Naveen and Flynn Ryder- Never seen the movies so I can’t comment although now I’m tempted to watch them.
I agree with you.
I think the idea that Eric falls in love with Ariel when she can’t speak is endearingly perceptive – he is obviously paying so much attention to her that he can tell how smart she is *anyway*.
Cinderella’s prince didn’t want to *just* get married, he wanted to fall in love first! He didn’t want an *arranged* marriage. I say this makes him sensitive & therefore the opposite of abusive. (Besides, Disney fixed any possible deficiencies in both his & her characters in the sequel “Cinderella 3″ (-: )
Yeah, Naveen wanted to marry a rich girl – AT FIRST. He learned how wrong he was, and that it was even fulfilling to work for a living.
I agree how the Beauty & the Beast movie seems like Stockholm Syndrome. Unfortunately, they *wanted* it to appear as tho’ the Beast was growing in character & Belle was falling in love with *that* aspect of him, but the writing just wasn’t good enough.
And to blame Li Shang for the laws of his country? Just plain stupid. Yes, those were laws back then – or, at least, that’s what the story says. How anyone can blame *him* for them – or even if they were just customs, blaming *him* for them, again, is just ridiculous.
Totally agree with your article, the chauvinistic society we live in has made its way with us…subliminally sending us wrong messages. Its time to change and to embrace the equal rights we deserve.
Great article ;)
I guess good boyfriends in healthy relationships just make lousy adventure stories.
I was mad that at the end she got knocked out and still had to be rescued by a boy. Don’t get me wrong, I loved seeing the sidekick step up monkey style, but did that have to be the end of the last fight?
Disney does consider Mulan a princess– the characters referenced here are the ones around which Disney has built its official “Disney Princess” line. Doubly interesting when you consider that she IS in fact a hero…
@M.E: You’re right, the “princess phase” isn’t about the man– but the man is still a large part of it, since every princess has their prince. In some ways the princes are more like accessories than anything else. Even if it’s unintentional, I wonder what message this sends to kids about relationships, especially when they’re at an age where they’re looking to things like these movies from which to cull this sort of knowledge.
I was talking about this whole thing with a guy friend the other day, and he brought up what the flip side of all this is for guys. For him, a lot of the whole prince thing was about the definition of what it means to “be a man”–be a hero, get the girl, save the day and all that– and how much pressure there was to grow up to be that definition. Flynn is the exception in this case– in fact, he even comments on this in how he tries to emulate the swashbuckling hero he admired as a child. I think it’s also worth noting that he’s the most recent prince on the list. I know most of the readers out there are probably women, but hey, any of the menfolk want to weigh in?
Mulan isn’t a princess in the first place. She’s a war hero. She doesn’t marry a prince and she doesn’t become a princess. She really shouldn’t be included in the princess category. Princes aren’t what the story is about, and if you really think about it, what kind of guys are usually offered up as “prince charming” in hollywood anyway? How many romcoms have healthy relationships with guys that you’d actually in real life want to be involved with? It’s not just Disney, but at least Disney makes it more about the adventure and the girl herself. I mean in general their movies’ main focus is on the princess and her own story, with the prince coming in at the end like the icing on the cake.
The princess “phase” as you called it, isn’t about the man. The men of disney aren’t models to be looked up to and the relationships they have with the princesses aren’t what little girls are watching. Little girls like the adventure, the clothes, the palaces, the intrigue, the plot; little girls want to be the ingenue. They want to be the one that everyone watches, that gets to be beautiful, that succeeds in the end, however “success” is defined. It is merely a trope of the story that a prince is what she gets in the end. I don’t think anyone actually cares about the princes at all. Like, actually. There’s a reason they don’t have names.
I think that the reason all little girls fantasize about becoming a princess married to a “loving” prince one day, is because they know that if a beautiful, kick-ass girl can’t get the guy, then there’s no hope for the rest of us peasants!
Now she’s not a princess but i think the only healthy-ish relationship could be kim possible and her nerdy sidekick, what’s his face. kim finally realized he was pretty cool and sweet, or something at the end. and it ended like every teen movie, her true love was her best friend but didn’t realize til his ass was almost killed by an evil blue guy. wait thats not how teen movies end. scratch the evil blue guy and put she looked at the smile his doofy face and then it was all happily ever after…or at least til prom (i am talking about teen movies…)
that’s not really that healthy either. disney’s messed us up dude.
Maybe I just tend to be more forgiving because, honestly, I really love Disney. Watching Disney movies with my daughter is still fun for me. But I think that some of the princes deserve a little more credit than that.
Prince Charming from Cinderella doesn’t want to be forced into marriage. He doesn’t like the pressure to married before he’s ready. I’m pretty sure most people who want to hold off on getting married right away can understand that. My husband didn’t get married til he was 30, because he needed some time to himself. That doesn’t make him a bad husband now.
Naveen has some pretty serious flaws. But those are flaws that he addresses throughout the movie and overcomes in the end. He learns a lesson. He makes a conscious choice to put someone else’s needs before his own and work hard for what he wants. He may be a gold-digger in the beginning, but at least its a flaw that he recognizes and in the end, corrects.
I think the best thing you point out is that even in fairytales, no one is perfect. Princesses have problems and princes have flaws, and they can all still be happy in the end. That’s not such a terrible lesson, right?
I was startled by Li Shang leaving Mulan to die in a snowdrift, but then I thought, “Maybe this is how any ancient warrior would have handled this. I don’t know.” However, when they decided to hook up at the end, that was AWFUL.
I didn’t even notice that he left her out there…to die!!! Some ‘prince’ turned out to be.
I do not understand this hate of Li Shang. He leaves Mulan in the snowdrift with a horse and rations, so she is not going to die, she will be able to get home. Later, after he and Mulan have saved China, he is conflicted by the fact that he is not “supposed” to care for her, but does. This situation is remedied when the Emperor tells Shang that he should go for it, so he does not have to worry about shirking his duty as a soldier to pursue her, and accordingly, he respectfully does.
If anything, this is the only Disney “princess” story that has redeeming value (despite its butchering of the original myth), because this is the only one in which the “princess” shows merits like courage, ability, and intelligence. She succeeds by working hard to do things her own way. Shang comes to respect and then be attracted to her, as opposed to the “princes” who fall for the wilting-flower archetype princesses.
Flynn was hot, don’t ruin him for me. To date, he’s the only male character that made me see a Disney movie. When I was little, I also kind of liked Beast (Adam? Really?). My mom and I both thought he was hideous when he changed back. I guess we’re just into that kind of thing.
The Paper-bag Princess anyone??
Prince Ronald was a bum