Ellen DeGeneres Calls Scene on American Idol

Ellen DeGeneres, she of the “I loved it. You’re great.” pointers throughout last season’s American Idol, is peacing out after her brief stint as a judge of the show. And frankly, it’s not a moment too soon.

Listen, I like Ellen. What’s not to like? She’s funny, she dances, she asks the tough questions to people like John McCain and all the while, she maintains her likability. But she SUCKED as an American Idol judge. I mean, there’s just no nice way to put it. She loved everyone, and it was clear that it pained her to have to dole out any criticism. The look in her eyes when someone was bad and she knew she might have to say something less than kindly to them was just…well, it was like watching someone who had been forced to kick a puppy. Or like when Lorena finally let the werewolves to suck all the blood out of Bill Compton last week.

That’s the kind of judge Ellen was. And so my guess is that she’ll be happier being a fan, which is a win-win for everyone.