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Belinda Carlisle is best known as the lead singer of the Go-Go’s, the most successful all-female band of all time. Her solo career saw her top the charts with such songs as “Mad About You” and “Circle in the Sand.” This week sees the release of her brutally honest memoir, Lips Unsealed. While many fans knew that underneath the Go-Go’s’ sunshine façade was a group of decadent punks, few realized that Carlisle was in the throes of a cocaine and alcohol addiction that had her thinking of taking her own life as recently as five years ago. She spoke with Michael Malice, subject of Harvey Pekar’s Ego & Hubris, about the punk scene, conquering addiction, and—most importantly—how she managed to turn a trash bag into a dress.
The British punk scene seemed so aggressive and violent, and you LA punks had an innocence about you even though you were supposedly on the fringes of society. Do you think that’s true?
Yeah, I do think it’s true. In London in the late ‘70s, you had an awful lot to be angry about. In Southern California in the late ‘70s, you had to really, really, really scrounge around to find it. We might have grown up in ways that weren’t so great, but for the most part there wasn’t a whole lot to be angry about. I think that the LA scene, more than a lot of the other scenes like maybe New York, was a lot lighter, was a lot more artistic, and definitely had a different energy.
Can you tell me how I would go about making a trash bag into a dress?
Cut a slit through the bottom end of the bag and put your head through it. Make little slits for arms, and then you already have your hems done so you don’t have to worry about that.
There are a couple of asides in the book about Exene Cervenka, lead singer of X. It seems like you didn’t get along with her. Was she like the Patti Smith to your Debbie Harry?
Probably. Or the Patti Smith to my Debbie Gibson, is more like how she would put it. That’s kind of a normal thing to have, band rivalries with some people. Whatever drama that there was, it never changed my mind about her band and I always thought she was talented. I actually saw Exene a couple of years after I had my son, and she was totally cool.
How is a punk mom different from a normal mom?
About as different as you can be. Ask my son that one; he’ll tell you. We kind of have a really funny relationship. I would take him to school and we’d be blasting the radio, singing Disney tunes and doing punk rock versions of Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho. We just were silly. My son, fortunately and unfortunately, had a mother who traveled all the time and worked. He went to the same school for many years, but I never ever ever was the kind of mother that went to the PTA and met up with the other mothers. I always kind of got the vibe from a lot of them that because I was a musician I wasn’t a good mother.
One of the things you wrote about is that when the Go-Go’s broke out, people expected you to be a flake so you met their expectations or even exceeded them.
Yeah, like being obvious about drugs when probably I shouldn’t have been. When you’re a musician, you get to get away with a lot of really inappropriate behavior because people are expecting it.
Is there a sense, now that you’re sober, of guilt? Is that something you had to deal with?
I don’t have any…well, guilt used to be my middle name, actually. It’s something that’s a really, really bad thing to carry with you.
One of the things you didn’t get into that much in the book was band dynamics. I know that the Go-Go’s are going on their farewell tour this summer and I don’t want to start any trouble. But is it fair to say that “it’s always the drummer,” no matter what band?
Well, “it’s always the lead singer,” no matter what band. Let’s put it that way. A lot of people noticed that I didn’t get into band politics. But the book wasn’t about dirty laundry or revealing people’s secrets or anything like that. If they want that done, they can do it themselves. This book is about my story. The Go-Go’s are a big part, but of course my story goes way beyond the Go-Go’s. Still, it is a little bit tough being the lead singer sometimes. What can I say?
After 30 years, are there any songs you’re all sick of doing? Is it Cool Jerk?
Cool Jerk I can’t bear.
No one likes that song. Who in the band likes that song?
No one does.
Why are you doing it?
I don’t know. Some fans love it. We can’t even be bothered doing it in rehearsal. It’s just horrible. Turn to You is a song that we got rid of. We Got the Beat can be difficult, but we make that fun for ourselves.
Your biggest solo hit was “Heaven is a Place on Earth,” but reading the book it seems like you went through Hell.
The book definitely is about overcoming obstacles, whether it be weight issues or self-esteem issues or addiction and coming out the other side. That’s pretty much why I wrote it. I always knew I had a book in me, and I’ve always wanted to write one, but I wanted it to be a little bit more than just dirty laundry. I know just from telling my story that there’s going to be people that relate to it.
One of the things you talk about is how you used yoga to help conquer your demons. How specifically did that work?
It’s really compatible with the 12-step program. Same message, different messenger. I found that for some reason I really took to yoga, especially Iyengar yoga. There’s a lot of breathing and a lot of going within. I guess it’s because I’ve had experience with transcendental meditation, which I’ve been doing for about 22 years. Also with my chanting, which is also compatible with yoga and the 12-steps. It was strange to me because it just seemed like physically it broke through a lot of blockages in my body and I was able to release a lot of emotion. Then I started getting into kundalini, which is a whole other thing. I don’t know what it is but it’s magic. It’s the yoga of awareness; it’s like internal yoga. I’m a different person because of that yoga. I don’t know what yoga itself is; no one really knows exactly what it is. But it’s different than going to the gym, I’ll say that!
As recently as 5 or 6 years ago, you always came across as cold in appearances. Now you’re happy and you’re smiling and you’re bubbly. Do you think that going through recovery had a big effect on your personality?
Absolutely. I look back at some interviews, and I was kind of scary. I think it was mostly insecurity. And honestly, I might have been hung over, too.
A lot of times, when you read a guy’s rock memoir, he’ll talk about going on drug binges—but he’s with groupies and it’s a huge party. When you describe it, it’s much darker. It sounds like it’s just you by yourself. Cocaine isn’t a drug that’s conducive to being solo. What were you actually doing?
I know, it’s pretty bad. I’d be smoking packs and packs of cigarettes and pacing the room like a caged animal. It’s not like it was fun. It was horrible. Sometimes I would be on the phone, but usually I couldn’t even talk to people or be around people. I just insulated. I turned off the phone, pulled the curtains closed and stayed in the room for days just smoking cigarettes and thinking crazy thoughts.
Gee, that sounds like fun.
Yeah, it was absolutely a blast.
