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Yes. I know. You enjoy shopping. You appreciate sex. You also appreciate Andrew Lloyd Weber’s Evita, and draw inspiration from her incredible true life story. That’s good. Only a monster would fail to do so.
That said, no, you are not “a gay man trapped in a straight woman’s body!” They are not the same thing. Or rather, you may be a gay man trapped in a straight woman’s body, and if you legitimately feel that way, this is a very good list of transgender resources. However, if you are just trying to say that you enjoy sex and body glitter, then, good heavens, no. No, you are not a “gay man in a straight woman’s body!” you chipper little thing, swilling your cosmopolitan. Being gay, surprisingly, isn’t an endless well dressed slumber party where you just braid each other’s hair and talk about feelings (so I hear. My gay friends could be lying because I am a bad hair braider, also, have no feelings). Your statement is false. Here is why:
1) Because you can legally get married in every state, and can play Evita at your wedding.
2) Because the population of straight women was not completely decimated 20 years ago.
3) Because people do not worry that you are trying to indoctrinate their children into a straight lifestyle. Or rather, indoctrinating people into tolerating your lifestyle.
4) No one really thinks you have an “agenda” unless you’re leading a meeting.
5) When people ask you about your sexuality, you will not have to say “I keep my private life private.”
6) People may bully you, but it won’t be because of your sexuality.
So, yes, by all means, smear on that body glitter, down those cosmos, play some Liza Minnelli. Life is a cabaret – but you’re still not a gay man in a woman’s body. Really.
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I think the #1 reason women feel that they are a “gay man in a straight woman’s body” is because of love.
I have fallen in love, real head-over-heals, would-die-for-you, would-change-anything-for-you love with a gay man. Three times. Three times of crazy crushing, crying, stupid love, and each time the man was gay.
I have never felt anything so strong for straight guys. For many women, especially incredibly feminine women, super masculine straight guys are off putting, NOT attractive. So when I say I feel like a gay man inside, I mean my heart. I can’t make my heart love straight men, or at least not any I’ve met yet.
Woot!
What’s next? “No you’re not a black man in a white man’s body ’cause you like hip-hop”.
Props to Mark W on that one
“Your pain isn’t as valid or as poignant as my pain, boo hoo.”
This isn’t really a very compelling article except for people with an axe to grind. Everybody has their cross to bear, folks, even us privileged straight white guys.
WARNING: Impending rant.
THANK YOU. It works the other way too: it annoys me endlessly when my incredibly socially retarded* brother claims to be a lesbian in a man’s body. The only thing he has in common with lesbians is that he likes women. Lesbians, BEING women, would understand the FIRST THING about women. They also tend to be comfortable around at least SOME women, and don’t tend to be convinced that the reason they can’t get some is ‘No one wants someone as sensitive as me boo hoo’. My brother, on the other hand, can’t figure out how to interact with ANY people. And he finally lost his virginity at the age of twenty-seven and a half not because he was waiting because boo hoo he’s so sensitive, but because despite his best efforts for over ten years no one would sleep with him because he’s so DENSE. And the girl dumped him in less than two months because again, he has no idea how to deal with people, let alone women. Partly because he’s convinced he’s sensitive but has absolutely no grasp of anyone’s feelings but his own, but since he THINKS he’s sensitive he just continues on while being obnoxiously self-absorbed.
..Yeah I’m a little bitter. And not just because every time he calls himself a lesbian in a man’s body he’s pretty much insulting non-straight women the world around [including me] by implying we work on an even vaguely similar wavelength. Being both a male and straight [not to mention the part where he's just ignorant], he doesn’t relate to ANYthing about being a lesbian that would make lesbians feel any solidarity with him.
*NOTE: I don’t mean this in an ‘everyone rip into me because I’m insensitive to disabled people’ way. I mean this in a literal way. Like when you say ‘Cam timing on my car is so retarded it won’t start’, you’re not trying to insult your camshaft; it’s a statement of fact.
Yes. Thank you for this!
the point of the post is that people play off these stereotypes, isn’t it?
it’s like saying the most offensive thing about Jonathan Swift’s “A Modest Proposal” is that he condones eating babies. well, no shit, the offense if the whole point of the piece.
point: just b/c you think you behave like, what you think in your head, a gay man would behave like does not make you a gay man. why? b/c there is more to being gay than stereotypes.
Actually, I think the most offensive thing about Jonathan Swift’s “A Modest Proposal” is that he implies that Catholic babies tend to be conceived during Lent because parents are bored since they can’t eat meat.
My point was, the piece addressed some of the serious concerns about being gay – that there’s more to being gay than the stereotypes – without pointing out that the stereotypes are far from the reality.
I’d say one of the most offensive things about that statement is that it implies that gay men all like glitter, musical theatre, shopping, etc. by virtue of their being gay. Newsflash: the only thing that makes a man gay is the fact that he likes to have sex with men rather than women. All that other crap is just part of the stereotype that calls gay men effeminate – that assumes gay men are less than “real” men because they are more like women, and we all know that we’re inferior.
Mumble, mumble, justification, justification, I THOUGHT PEOPLE GOT THAT. Just for the record, those stereotypes are stereotypes.