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We all have a lot of favorite movies. Asking someone their favorite movie (I Capture The Castle) will tell you nothing about their personality. Asking them the worst movie they’ve ever seen, however, will tell you tons about them and whether or not you can be friends. Though everyone hates M. Night Shyamalan now, it seems, so I guess that can bring us all together.
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“kids” Just. Awful. And not in a “so bad it’s good way.”
The New Nighmare on Elm Street
I might put this in the best-worst movie category, but still – Black Sheep. No, not the one with Chris Farley where he screws up his brother’s political campaign (and the film i *thought* i was DVRing late one night) but rather a film about zombie sheep in New Zealand. Yep. Zombie Sheep. It was a whole lotta wow.
The People Under the Stairs…1992 I think. Seriously, just watch it. Awful and so bleeping hilarious that I’m having college (from when we rented it…not QUITE that old) flashbacks of laughing so hard I puked (and I wasn’t drinking that night). Best Worst EVER.
The new Nightmare on Elm Street…we walked right out of the theater because it really sucked big time. “Flubber” is also a horrible movie.
Worst Movie Ever: Bringing Out the Dead. Of course starring, who else, Nicholas Cage. Its like 3 hours long, although there is a spot about 2 hours in where everything wraps up and the screen goes black and everyone thinks its over, then it starts up again. I saw it in a theater for 50 cents and I wanted my 50 cents and 3 hours of my life back.
Best Worst Movie Ever: Evil Dead II. We watched this every weekend in high school and loved to yell and make comments at it, like “I think I made this in my backyard when I was 10″ and “Oops, out of red blood, now lets throw some blue, ooh now green”. Its full of editing and continuity mistakes and the storyline is ridiculous. Definitely in the “so bad its good” category.
Worst film I ever saw was one called “Corrupt” with Harvey Keitel and John Lydon (that’s right, aka Johnny Rotten).
About a sociopath who is blackmailing a corrupt cop. Only they never really tell you how he’s corrupt. And Lydon acts almost as well as he sings..
I’ve seen “Blueberella” by Uwe Boll. From the beginning till the end. God save my poor brain. That’s the worst movie of Uwe Boll. So it’s kind of ultimate crap.
Adaptation. The Wicker Man. Bangkok Dangerous…
and anything else with Nicolas Cage in it for that matter.
except Con Air. Con Air was kind of badass.
what about Raising Arizona?
Also, few things make me happier than the Wicker Man adaptation.
Plan nine from outer space. When the flying saucers are clearly inverted pie plates hanging from a string, that’s pretty bad, but when you can clearly see the string?…………………………egad!!!
You humans are stupid. Stupid stupid stupid stupid!!!
I love Plan 9.
i once watched this one very late at night on SBS. Nothing will ever compare.
Wild Zero (2000) – Combine a zombie outbreak (thanks to an alien invasion) with the coolest rock band in the world, and you get this bizarre Japanese movie from director Tetsuro Takeuchi. Ace (Masashi Endo) is a huge fan of the band Guitar Wolf (who play themselves), and he wants to be a rock ‘n roll legend just like his idols. But first, he’ll need to survive the zombie outbreak, win the love of the transgendered Tobio (Kwancharu Shitichai), and defeat the evil machinations of the Captain (Makoto Inamiya). The Captain, by the way, loves to wear hot pants and later gains the ability to shoot lasers from his eyes. Meanwhile, plenty of zombie heads explode, and fire seemingly shoots out of everything. We even get a few performances from Guitar Wolf when they’re not throwing guitar picks like shuriken or pulling samurai swords from their instruments. It’s a zombie movie. It’s a romance. It’s a helluva lot of fun.
Why oh why has nobody mentioned Troll 2? It is The Room of horror films, except worse/better.
I second this! It even has its own drinking game, with the Room you just throw spoons.
The remake of House on Haunted Hill.
The original is brilliant; the remake sucked hardcore. They tried to make it scarier by becoming more gruesome. And it failed. Utterly.
I’d also like to point out the original Twilight movie was so bad it was awesome. Of course, I had set the bar extremely low for that atrocity, so I was just endlessly amused by it.
Heh, I just saw the 3rd film and damn can no one act anymore?!
I saw Taylor Lautner on SNL and the kid is actually funny but in the movie, I was blown away at how bad he was…
Don’t even get me started on the other two…
Ok, the worst movie of all time is The Box. It was the strangest thing I’ve ever watched. The scene where James Marsden if in the cube of water hovering over Cameron Diaz is just… what the hell is going on?!
BUT! The best worst movie ever (totally different than the worst movie ever) is Tremors. It’s truly terrible. But I have seen it so many times and know all the lines. If you haven’t seen it go watch it right now. I’m telling you, best worst movie of all time.
‘THX-1138′, a George Lucas abomination. Inexcusably terrible film; it tries to be Mr. Lucas’ answer to ’1984′ by Orwell and ’2001: A Space Odyssey’ by Kubrick (with a little bit of ‘Logan’s Run’ thrown in there), but really all it succeeds in doing is being confusing and depressing. Unfortunately, I saw all of it, and I feel like I will never get those ninety-or-so minutes of my life back.
A bleak ‘post-apocalyptic dystopian future’ type of story in which almost-identical actors with shaved heads wear white jumpsuits against all-white backgrounds. This may have seemed like a good idea to help convey the forced conformity of this future society; however, movies are a visual medium, and absolutely no scenes in this movie are in any way visually arresting. Lack of hair, clothing, expressions (…because, of course, they’re all being sedated…) or any other distinguishing features makes telling the characters apart almost impossible. Furthermore, at some points it becomes actually physically painful to watch, when the “white-on-white-on-white” blends together in one glaring solid mass that stabs into the viewer’s eyes from the screen.
It’s not entertaining to look at, the plot is full of clichés that have already been done by those much better at it, and the characters at no time make the viewer want to care about them or their problems. All in all, by the time the last scene was over, I was left filled with confusion and anger; as, the whole way through, I had been waiting for it to get better. When the credits finally rolled, I was screaming, “THAT’S IT?! That’s all? What just happened to me?!?” at the screen. I’ve never quite gotten over the trauma, so I try to warn as many others as I can.
Drop Dead Fred. It angered me.
GASP! That was like my all time favorite video when I was a kid. Don;t ask me why. Its pretty weird. And doesn’t really say much about me… I was a weird kid. Case and point, I’m not sure why I said video instead of movie…. Just ignore me as I ramble on…
The worst movie by far is Kabluey. The first hour was pretty much awkward silence.
Red Riding Hood(2011)
I thought it would be passable because Gary Oldman was in it. He’s a wonderful actor, but it was evident within the first few minutes he was just phoning it in. Horrible, horrible movie. I also hated Legally Blonde 2.
OH MY GOD Was that movie bad! And I just sat there waiting and hoping that at any minute the movie would get better, the script would be better, the acting would get better. I mean jesus, Gary Oldman was in it! But it just got continuously worse.
Oh and Captain America. Yes I am aware that it is a comic. However…That script, I mean really people, my dog could write a better script then that. And don’t even get me started on the acting! You’d think with an all-star cast it would be at least descent.
But it wasn’t.
“Beauty and the Briefcase”. Of course, this was a made-for-tv movie but it is still unpleasantly engraved in my brain as the worst, stupidest, unfunniest movie ever made. Hillary Duff plays the lead character. You would think this is enough to make this movie horrible but no, it gets better. She wants to be a “jounalist”. At cosmopolitan. Because, in her head, cosmopolitan is the greatest magazine ever. She even has a cosmopolitan altar at home. I kid you not. She loves fashion but looks awful all the time. She’s stupid. She’s superficial. She has stupid, superficial friends. The main character is basically a dumb bitch. For 90 minutes straight.
I watched the first five minutes, my mind was blown. I had to shut it off. Then I continued watching because I just couldn’t believe a movie like that could exist. But it does. It does.
I’ve tried posting this comment three times, and it keeps not showing up. So instead of going for the long witty comment, here’s the summary:
Basically, “The Dreamers” with Michael Pitt. It has a wierd brother/sister thing going on and there’s a anti-Fascist revolution going on. And some how Vietnam is thrown in. Oh! and There is this part where the female lead starts her period in a bath tub with two guys and they all laugh and are like, “Ce la vie!” and I was just grossed out. Maybe I’m just no French enough and missed the message.
Oh, and “The Box” with Cameron Diaz was just plain HORRIBLE!
The Avengers. No, I didn’t get an advance copy of the one coming out with all those Superheroes. The Avengers movie from 1998. The one with Uma Thurman and Ralph Fiennes where they are trying to save the world because someone is trying to destroy it with a weather machine. Just went on imdb and apparently the tagline is: “When evil reigns, it takes two to weather the storm”. That is all.