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The Melbourne International Film Festival was supposed to screen a movie called L.A. Zombie, but, sadly, censors rejected the film. Why? Because it’s a gay porno about zombies. While that sounds pretty much like my dream movie, some people seem not to feel the same way. Here’s the description:
Bruce LaBruce’s movie is about an alien zombie who roams Los Angeles trying to bring dead people back to life through sex. It becomes unclear whether he is an alien or a schizophrenic homeless man. A write-up on the MIFF’s website says the film promises “plenty of wound-shagging and more penises than you can shake a stick at.”
In case the description enough wasn’t enough to convince you, here is a list of reasons why this movie sounds awesome:
- It is directed by someone named Bruce LaBruce.
- There are zombies.
- “Wound-shagging.”
- Bringing people back to life by having sex with them – that is relatable for everyone!
- Did I mention the zombies?
Way to harsh my buzz, Melbourne.
Funnily enough, Melbs seems chock full of “fashionable” folk. Must be the zombie thing. I refuse to believe “wound shagging” or too many Bruces in someone’s name would keep the film out. Shoulda brought it out here to Perth if for no other reason than I have a great LA accent and would walk around Hay St claiming to not only have directed the film and naming myself after the Chainsaw-Wielding Tower of Awesome, but to have brought people back to life by putting my penis in their wounds. There’s a Jesus Porn hiding in that premise somewhere…