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Image via Dan Jackman/WENN
I was in college when Sex and the City premiered on HBO. I was a kid from New Hampshire who had dreams of moving to New York City, so the designer clothes, the openness about sex, and the on again/off again relationship between Carrie and Mr. Big lured me in for six whole seasons. I was 20 years old when the “iconic,” and I use this term loosely, show started, and twenty-six when it ended. I was a writer who was moving to New York City after graduation; I was obviously, Carrie. And of course, I could take my three closest friends at the time and pigeonhole them in the roles of the slut (Samantha), the prude (Charlotte), and the career driven redhead (Miranda). In life women can only be one of four possible types, right? Right!
As I type this, I am living in New York City. I’ve been here for seven years, and although I am technically a freelance writer, I, shockingly, don’t have Carrie’s apartment, wardrobe, footwear, or Big…weird, because I really thought that’s how it was going to be. No, I joke! If I really thought that, I’d never admit to it, and if I did, I’d jump from my fire escape.
At thirty-two years old, I hate Carrie Bradshaw. When I see episodes now, I cringe. How could such an idiotic, needy twit be the basis for such a successful and long-running show? If that weren’t enough, how could she spawn not one but two hideous, over the top pathetic attempts at cinema type movies!? Someone tell me!
So I’ve broken down the reasons why I hate, actually abashedly loathe, Carrie Bradshaw:
Carrie sucks at love. To quote a friend, “Carrie treated Aidan like shit.” After being treated like a piece of trash by Mr. Big for so many seasons, she decided to do the same to Aidan: she cheated on him, lied to him (about everything from her smoking habits to her abortion in her twenties), and after breaking his heart, went and did it again. Aidan adored her beyond belief (why, we’ll never know), but she, stereotypically, went for the “bad boy” in Big. To use her words, she was addicted to the “exquisite pain of wanting someone so unattainable,” so she sabotaged a potentially amazing relationship with the type of man the majority of us dream about…and for what? Big and his money? A walk-in closet for all her heinous shoes she can’t even afford? Man up, Bradshaw! Falling for the bad boy is cute at sixteen, and maybe even eighteen, but when you’re mid to late thirties, it’s just sad. Get a sense of yourself and quit being a twit.
Carrie sucks at money management. This is where most people who know me might say “people in glass houses…,” but at least I know I can’t manage money. I also know I can’t afford those stupid Jimmy Choos, so I’m not going to buy them anyway and then expect my friends to bail me out of my financial crisis later in life. Shoe addiction is not okay! It’s sad and a crutch, just like all addictions, and should be treated with the same extreme intervention as coke or heroin addiction. Bullying Charlotte into giving you her engagement ring so you can pay off your debts is pretty pathetic Carrie…even I wouldn’t sink that low, bitch.
Carrie sucks at fashion. Yes, I’m sorry, but Carrie Bradshaw dresses like a moron. It’s fun to pretend she’s so daring and innovative in her style choices, but she’s not. She dresses like a six-year-old who was let loose in a drag queen’s closet, and when she came out, her mom clapped and shrieked: “she’s so original!” If I ever saw a woman dressed like that either here in the city, or anywhere else in the world, I’d throw a Twinkie at them, tell them to take a long look in the mirror and eat a damn carb for a change. Yes, I keep Twinkies on me for such occasions.
Carrie sucks at writing. YES! How it is anyone decided that this woman should get paid to be a writer, I’ll never understand. I realize that Carrie is based on Candace Bushnell, and since I don’t read that type of swill, I can’t comment on her lack of talent, but I can say that the fictional version can’t write. I write better when I’m hungover and tied to a lamppost without access to my hands. Anyone who takes life advice from those columns of hers needs to have their head examined stat…there is nothing poignant, thought-provoking or even educational in her rambling. My ass, Vogue paid you $4 a word.
Carrie sucks at friendship. Ms. Bradshaw is the most self-involved person in the world. No matter what issue arises in the lives of her friends, she immediately makes it about her. Charlotte can’t conceive? Well, let’s see how I can make this about me and Mr. Big. Miranda’s in love with a poor bartender? Well, let’s see how I can make this about how I’m a whore and ruined a marriage. We’re talking about a woman who, when her shoes were stolen from a friend’s baby shower, went and “registered” for a new pair…after bitching and moaning for the entire episode that singles never get any gifts after graduation. Shut up! What do you think birthdays are for, Carrie? The friend, who was played by Tatum O’Neal while she was briefly sane, actually has the nerve to tell Carrie that $485 is an irresponsible amount to spend on shoes…forcing Carrie to huff and puff like a spoiled brat, again, making it all about her and her needs. Not once does it cross Carrie’s mind that maybe she’s in the wrong, that she’s the one who needs a reality check. Gag.
Simply, Carrie sucks at life. I get that it’s a TV show (and now two movies) and not steeped in reality, and the whole entertainment factor is key, but is it really entertaining to watch cliché after cliché? At the time, Sex and the City was something new; it took cable television to a whole new level and helped paved the way for so many amazing shows that followed (“Sopranos,” “Six Feet Under”), but it also sort of set women back, Carrie in particular. Her inability to see things clearly, her lack of self control and responsibility, her complete dependency on a man (all the while constantly decrying how much she didn’t need a man) and her total disregard for the importance of friendship and how it needs to be a two-way street makes Carrie a horrible role model for women the world over. And for that I hate her. I don’t hate her enough to let it keep me up at night, but I do hate her enough that I’m prone to throw things at the posters for Sex and the City 2.
So should you find yourself on the streets of New York and happen to witness an angry girl throwing a Twinkie at a poster of Carrie, don’t fret, it’s just me expressing my inner turmoil. Carrie once threw a Big Mac at Big, so throwing things have been all the rage ever since, right? Right.
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I totally agree with this article. Having watched the entire box set again at the ripe age of 42, I wonder how she became something to love. She is everything I hate about women.
Carrie is a successful character, because you can hate her. A successful character for a writer is one that provokes strong reaction, no matter what that reaction is- it’s a breath of life into a completely fictional idea.
As a writer, I have a character like Carrie that a lot of my readers love to hate- and that makes me so happy!
Not only do I haaate Carrie Bradshaw as a character, I unfortunately add on SJP’s incredibly high annoying voice to her manly horse face and idiotic strut in her too-high and impossibly impractical shoes and start to ABHOR (or ABWHORE) her. The whole show gives the worst (and unrealistic) messages to women- being self-absorbed is totally fine, you can slut around as much as you want to and largely get away without consequences (STDs, pregnancies, guilt, emotionally hurting yourself or others), you can be in your thirties and forties and act like you’re twenty, abortions come a dollar a dozen, lasting relationships are all about whether you’re “happy” or not…I could go on and on. WHY did this show last for so long, I will never understand.
Please, Carrie’s fabulous and you know it!
7 days ago
[...] my disdain for the character Carrie Bradshaw on Sex and the City, I do have a soft spot for the show in my heart. I watched it religiously for [...]
I don’t know if you know this but Carrie is a CHARACTER (meaning FICTIONAL). It is just common sense not to guide your life or even take literal advice from TV SHOWS.
Of course a Newspaper columnists can’t afford that lifestyle! (all the shoes and clothes is marketing, product placement) and yes the character sucks at relationships and makes bad decisions! (it needed to do that so the series could last all those years!). It is entertainment! of course I’m tuning on TV to watch fictional lives of fictional characters.
Most of the time these “haters” loose sense of reality and end up more obsessed with the show and characters than people who like the show (and after it continue with their real lives).
Btw, I loved SATC but do not plan anytime soon in blowing my money in extravagant clothing…as I like Desperate Housewives and do not plan to murder anyone because “the TV show made it look so easy to get away with it”. Get a grip!
I loved the show, but I also think Carrie is a bit pathetic. Last episodes with russian – what was she expecting for? that he will be with her 24hour per day? she knew he had a job to do. she is very selfish. but afcourse he was the bad man who slaped her. “I’ve got slaped” oh I’m so poor. I like samantha, charlote and miranda more then her
You’re just a player hater.
Well, Carrie did do the fashion show (so she could keep the clothes– lol). Charlotte had her little stint of wanting to help the blind, and Miranda took in Steve’s mother when she developed dementia.
Let’s see… Carrie also took on the 20-something girl as a sort of protege one summer (the episode where they rent the beach house and she runs into Big and Natasha for the first time). She also insisted the girls go to Miranda’s mother’s funeral. Oh, and Samantha donated food to a church because she thought the priest was hot.
I agree; it’s not a comprehensive show about these 4 women’s lives; it’s mainly a show about friendship and relationships. A person could pick apart any TV show and ask “when did the characters do charity work?” or clean their house, or do laundry, or go grocery shopping, or any of the millions of things that ordinary people do. It’s not meant to be a complete reflection of reality. I think such a show would be boring to watch.
What always struck me as BIZARRE about Sex and the City is that Carrie never seemed to be interested in volunteering, charity, even her own family. Was there ever an episode where she volunteered for a cause, even as a strategy for meeting men? Sex and the City is a funny show and had some great episodes, don’t get me wrong. In fact, if I am wrong and Carrie did donate money/volunteer/step in to take care of an ailing relative/champion a charitable cause please correct me.
I have to say, congratulations on the success of this article! You obviously articulated something that many, many people feel strongly about; not often that you see this many comments.
I am a HUGE fan of the show (not so crazy about the movies because I think the characters changed too much). You are right about several points– it’s totally unrealistic and the likelihood of such pigeon-holed characters being such close friends in real life is pretty unlikely (Miranda would be hanging out with other lawyers, Charlotte would probably be hanging with her old sorority chums).
However, I found the show refreshing because Carrie is so flawed. She does a lot of stupid things. She is irresponsible with money, doesn’t always treat the nice guys nicely, and can be pretty self-centered. But isn’t this the way life often is? One thing Michael Patrick King said that he liked to do was have one of the characters lamenting about something that seemed monumental to them and have another ask to have the salt passed; he thought that was real– even when we’re with others and trying to be sympathetic, we still are in our own heads. As for Carrie’s on-and-off toxic relationship with Big, this too, is not totally unrealistic. As neurotic as she was, do you really think she’d recognize a good relationship? Of course not! Charlotte ended up with a nice guy, as did Samantha and Miranda (until the movies). But if everyone had a nice, healthy relationship, it wouldn’t have been a very interesting show (or very realistic).
I think, overall, it’s a wonderful show, when you take direction, script, storyline, etc., into consideration.
YES ^^ well said.
@CAROLINE – You can go screw you self, SATC is a tv show that’s not even real. Women don’t go to new york looking for Love and Labels, they’re to busy with their lives and social and they all have occupation and families.
Carrie Bashaw is a lying slut she’s poor and is feeding of big’s money and finance. Her clothes are probably shoplifted, bargained, gifts from friends or even fake. All I see she ever do is go out, eat out for breakfast/lunch, hangout with friends, shop, eat in fancy restaurant, go home and sleep. That is much her daily life and schedule. Where in does she get all the money from??
She thinks she top shit with her clothes and sense in fashion- she wears fucken retarded clothes. She’s the one with good heart, the caring one, the rich one and the helpful one. bitch please she’s a self centred bitch who thinks about her problems first and is living off big’s money and boasting about how she’s so rich living in a penthouse. She thinks that every guy wants her and that she’s the prettiest one out if the four. SHE LOOKS LIKE A FUCKING HORSE. WHY DO WE ALWAYS SEE HER BRA AND NIPPLES???? SHE THINKS SHE’S MODEST AND DOWN TO EARTH. SHE’S KILLING THE EARTH.
yes, yes, YES!!! thank you! YES! FINALLY!
I started watching sex and the city after ignoring it for many years( I’m nearly 20 now) so I guess I’m target audience? anyway I’ve had to battle it off for years and I finally gave in
I liked it at first but the fashion problem was SO OBVIOUS. around the third or fourth season I started thinking this is not a genuinely kind person!
right this minute I’m watching “the perfect present” episode 3 of season 6(this is my first and last time watching this crap) I paused the episode at 12:52
and carrie was prepared to cheat on yet another guy with freaking big!
and she doesn’t even feel bad about it.
the last thing I heard out of her mouth ” HE called ME, I’m a lady”
my response: “you’re not a lady you’re a whore!”
and she’s a complete airhead, she’s selfish and she treated miranda like shit. the woman had a baby for god’s sake. the least you can do is offer to baby sit every once in a while
I remember once they were all going to atlantic city and steve was too scared to take care of the baby and carrie talked magda into taking care of brady so miranda said” no, that’s not her job”
carrie’s brilliant, sensitive response was ” miranda, please just throw some money at the problem and let’s get out of here!”
“the problem” being miranda’s infant!!!!!
This article is AMAZING. And no, I’m not being sarcastic. My friend and I were watching the show the other night and just started ranting about literally almost all of your points (especially the selfish bit). We finally ended up settling on the fact that Carrie can be a giant thundercunt most of the time.
And OMG it drives us insane how you can always see her bra. ALWAYS.
In other news, people need to get over it and learn to laugh.
So stupid, honey you are just pathetic. You obviously “hate her” because you didn’t get the life that she had. The one you wanted.
First World Problems.
I’m not a fan of Carrie Bradshaw character, but that only because I’m a totally different person myself. Neither do I resemble Samantha, Charlotte or Miranda. However, I’ve enjoyed watching Sex and the City a lot despite the fact that my life is nothing like the life those women have. But I love how through their personalities many our human flaws are shown. Has none of you ever felt for the bad guy while having the other who’s much better but compared to the first one is nearly not good enough? Has none of you ever felt crazy about useless if you think about it things like shoes, handbags (not neccesarily the ones listed)? Has none of you ever been selfish towards friends? Seriously, be honest here. It’s most certainly not a good thing, but what are you gonna do? People are selfish. That’s the most natural thing as for the sky to be blue, right?
And as for Carrie being as most people think ugly or to skinny, I’ll say this. A sweet face may get you very far, but not as far as your personality. Carrie is all about her personality. Yeah, really weird clothes sometimes (although, I have to admit, I was absolutely crazy about the outfits in the movies 1, 2, they are really cool. But that’s probably because the movies are new, and the TV series were happening quite a while ago, so fashion has definietly changed. So what seemed cool for them doesn’t really work for us, and that’s normal. I would probably kill myself if I was living in the 80′s for instance). What was I saying? Oh yeah, Carrie. What I was trying to tell that Carrie is not perfect, not a sweet face, has some serious attitude problems, but please, who is perfect?
This is one of the craziest rants I have ever read on the internet, and that says a lot.
I just stumbled across this Googling something else so I must ask, is this article an ironic joke that only you get?
You obviously hate Carrie Bradshaw (a fictional character) because she embodies so many things you apparently hate about yourself.
I guess we all do this, however most don’t write convoluted articles justifying it.
Also, who takes a show which regularly refers to anal sex and “funky spunk” seriously enough to base their life on it?
I.e. you actually said when you moved to New York you thought your life would be like a show on HBO (thank God she wasn’t a fan of OZ, amIright?)
I guess the internet is full of crazy people, but from now I will stick with the government conspiracy theorist/alien abduction victims as they are obviously more reasonable.
Also, it was a funny show so STFU.
I want like to live a world where people who waste their time reading something (from over a year ago), and who are so ignorant to interpret petty rants for the sake of sarcasm actually get a clue. I wrote this well a year over ago to express my disdain and yet people run to defend this fictional character at least once a week.
It was a fucking TV show! Get over it. My post was a joke, so pick up a sarcasm before breakfast tomorrow will you?
This is my last comment on the matter because frankly I don’t give a fuck about the majority of these comments it’s the type of shit that makes me yawn, roll my eyes and assume you’re from middle America.
FYI. New Yorkers do not feel the same, sweetie… but that’s because we have lives and dreams to pursue…
But thanks for your input! Enjoy Applebees tonight.
PS. My jimm choos need to be resoled. I’l take of it before brunch at the Plaza tomorrow.
(Yawn)
yes and you’re one of them, if ure so crazy about this show, you just took back feminism back 100 years
carrie’s is big’s bitch. WAKE UP HONEY, it’s not love.he’s just a lonely successful individualistic businessman who just got divorced and NEEDS A FUCK.
they made it sounds so easy to fuck someone, and it’s effecting our generation without knowing boundaries. and the pretty little critical details are just stupid! i’m sure you’ll realize it when ure 30 (i’m not yet there but i obviously know better).
dont you forget this is a fictional character that have women all over the world crazy for talking about sex love and brands….which made females today look like extravagant bitches and brands designs so atrocious, i’m sure the raise of child labor doesnt empower woman as much as manolo blahniks
I’m not sure what is worse, the article itself or the dozen or so 30 something guilt written rants. I’m 23 and just have started watching in my spare time. I don’t take any of the characters as anything as more than fictional and exaggerated versions of women at that. I being a gay male. I find it so funny now with the economy in the state it is that all of the sudden out of the dust comes the 80′s and prior generations all preaching ego and disorders when the majority of them probably didn’t listen to their children telling them this very thing when we were merely teenagers. Oprah was good for something…at one time. I myself have a mother who makes 200,000 annually and spends double that, as well as an eating problem, her’s not the kind you’d think though, wait this is America and most of you are over 30 so maybe so. I’ve told her since I was 14 that she has issues and all she could say until the recent thank you was stop the back talking and mind your own business. Funny how these things work. I guess its true that each generation learns from the next though. Lucky for me I got the shitty ones beforehand. P.S. I love you Carrie Bradshaw, no matter what these bitter betties have to say about you remember it’s all because they are jealous that they’re now obese, in debt and flat out hopeless.
Before you call everyone ELSE out for having so many “issues,” perhaps you might consider your own. One being your problem of classifying a gigantic cross-section of people… wrongly. (Of course it will be hideously wrong when you try to stereotype an entire group of people. Don’t you HATE it when people do that to you? I think it is mildly irritating, but mostly ignorant and unintelligent.) Carrie B is fictional, obviously. But you aren’t. What is your excuse for your behavior?
What I hate most about Carrie is the fact that every cute guy is in love with her at first sight. The only thing she had going for her was her curly blonde hair, which was fake anyway. She is portrayed as being so confident but it’s only because she goes into debt for clothes. When she gets old she’s going to realize that no amount of expensive outfits or hair styling is going to make her beautiful. The show makes it seem like if you act like Carrie then everyone will fall in love with you, and that’s not only ridiculous, it’s dangerous.
She’s the one who gets Big, a good looking guy with a lot of money; she’s the one who ends up affirming her materialistic, selfish ego while everyone else learns to accomodate. Miranda, a gorgeous, driven, educated woman, ends up with much inferior guy; Charlotte learns to love someone who loves her, and Samantha ends up with no one. In my opinion, Charlotte should have ended up with Big, Miranda with Harry, Samantha with Aidan, and Carrie alone!
You seem very jealous of a fictional character. Bizarre that you expect a person to be perfect, pick the perfect guy, be a perfect friend. The show was about Carrie Bradshaw, a women growing and learning and if she seemed self centered, it is because she was the star and the main focus of the story line. Yes she made money with her column, not pennies off of google ads and pay per clicks, no offense. Carrie’s writing was thought provoking for her fans, which is why her column worked -she was not a blogger bitching about a fictional person’s life. Se was living her own life.