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There are a number of fashion trends that have always bothered me. Foremost amongst them is one-sleeve shirts. These wretched garments were popular when I was in high school and I was relieved when they quickly fizzled out as a fad. But to my dismay, one-sleeve shirts and dresses are making a comeback.
Now, I’m not talking about one-strap shirts and dresses. Those are bordering on permissible. What I’m thinking of are the shirts where one arm is clad wrist-to-shoulder in cloth while the other is left bare. They make no sense at all and I hate them. So I’m retaliating. With science.
Graphical analysis
This graph clearly shows a negative relationship between one-sleeve shirts and dignity. In fact, dignity can be sent well into negative territory by the addition of a scarf in the summer. If you are wearing a garment that covers one arm completely and leaves the other one bare, it is best not to complicate things by covering your neck in several unnecessary layers of silk or wool.
In this graph, you can see that one-sleeve shirts have approximately half the number of sleeves as normal shirts. The number of sleeves on a one-sleeve shirt does not seem to be correlated in any way to the number of arms the average person has. This fact directly affects the perceived ridiculousness of one-sleeve shirts, which is off the charts and busting through the theoretical roof.
Here is a Venn diagram depicting who should wear one-sleeve shirts and who should not:
One particular situation in which it might be okay to wear a one-sleeve shirt
If you are wearing a hat with a space heater dangling from it, you are permitted to wear a one-sleeve shirt. I’m sorry you have to carry a space heater on your head. It must be very heavy.
Are one-leg pants the garment of the future?
Dear God, I hope not.
but if one legged pants are the wave of the future…does this mean we r one step closer to not having to wear pants at all?!?!?! cause that would be really awesome!
“Are one-leg pants the garment of the future?”
http://missfallon.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/amr10.jpg?w=375&h=500
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_XiG-j39NCKs/Shu3yeMqWEI/AAAAAAAAAJE/MIYXu7pigGY/s400/Margiela+One+legged+jumpsuit.bmp
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/2970013/Jade-Ewen-wears-one-legged-jumpsuit-to-Rihannas-aftershow-party.html
I think we may all be doomed.
Am I just dumb, or is my browser dumb? I can’t see all of the graphics… They’re cut off on the right side. Or… is that an ironic nod to all the pics of people with the right sleeve missing?
OMG, Sugarblind that is the one thing that made this post even more loltastic.
Oh, this was just too funny! I like the pie last pie chart
I want a space heater hat! Also, I’ve been laughing for about ten minutes. If laughter is a cause of death, Allie, you are a serial killer.
One addition to the Venn diagram: the drummer from Def Leppard. Otherwise, spot on.
I found your blog on google and read a few of your other posts. I just added you to my Google News Reader. Keep up the great work Look forward to reading more from you in the future. I think it will be also nice if you add “send to email” tool so people can forward the articles to their friends easily.
O(∩_∩)O~
Agreed. Even Tarzan looked funny with that asymmetrical onesie that he wore.
I love your charts (especially the bar and pie charts haha) and your comment to the poor people who wear heater hats. So entertaining :)
Kelsey makes a good point. Yes, it is imperative that a person who has an emotionally unsound mother and who has also been cutting herself NOT GO TO THERAPY. We thank you, one-sleeve shirt, for allowing that person to remain free from mental health professionals and still have one arm that stays cool at any rate.
Yeah they’re ridiculous…unless you have cutting scars on one arm and have to hide them from your emotionally unsound mother so she won’t freak out and blame herself and put you in therapy.
Just a thought.
Asinine. Like berets. All those Chinese kids who sew the one-armed shirts will start thinking we all have one arms. Next, they’ll tell their leader we have just one arm and they’ll send over the missiles.
See? Dumb.
You are amazing. This was the funniest thing I have seen in a while.