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Madeline, you made us want to wear an enormous hat for all occassions. You also made us a little bit less afraid of nuns, and gave us a strange passion for dressing in primary colors that lasted until we turned six. And then, there was so many other fashion lessons. Lessons like these:
God, You Should Really Just Move to France: “In an old house in Paris/lived twelve little girls in two straight lines.” Try substituting the world “Duluth” for Paris. See, it just doesn’t work as well, does it? And those wide brimmed hats looked so much cooler going towards the Eiffel Tower than they would the Shop Rite. Every single item in your closet would look better surrounded by Parisian scenery. Fact.
There’s No Shame in Being Different: They left the house and half past nine/the smallest one was Madeline. She was also the only red-head! But did it bother Madeline? Were there awkward Anne of Green Gable style incidents where she fucked around with cheap hair dye? Oh no, there were not. Possibly because every single outfit they wore seemed strategically designed to go along with the coloring of a redhead.
Bright Jackets Are Awesome: The girls looked great wandering around in their bright blue coats. Had they been wandering around in black coats, they would have looked as though they were off to a funeral constantly.
You Should Accessorize Your Dog To Match You, But Not In A Weird Way: It’s nice the way Madeline’s dog always has a collar that matches her ribbon. It would be weird if the dog had a collar, and a little hat and any sort of rain coat.
You Really Need to Stop Judging People Entirely By Their Clothing: Perhaps you remember Pepito, the Spanish Ambassador’s son, who wore a hat that sucked. Madeline went around calling him “the bad hat,” but later, he turned out to be really nice and they had adventures involving gypsies and circuses together.
Even Though Judging People Entirely By Their Clothing Leads to Completely Accurate Assumptions: Actually, Pepito was pretty awful until Madeline convinced him to mend his ways. And when he did, he got rid of his odd hat. So, I guess she was right initially, there, and people who try to tell you otherwise are just poorly dressed people.
If a Man Really Loves You, He Will Get Rid of His Awful Signature Style Piece: The way Pepito did for Madeline! But you can’t just say “get rid of that God-awful Saturday night party shirt, we judge people by their clothing now.”He has to do it spontaneously. Just stare at him really hard until he does.
What Would Madeline Wear Today? Having gone to boarding school with the nuns, Madeline would almost certainly appreciate the religious influences in Alexander McQueen’s last collection. And she would appreciate a good cape in gold and blue, too, albeit one a little more elaborate than the girl’s typical walking clothes.
