Gallery: Fashion Lessons I Learned from ’90210′

If people can't see through your shirt, how will they know what color bra you're wearing?

They're also secretly 30 years old.

Everyone looks good in big, bold patterns and a pair of crossed arms.

Beachy casualwear = high-waisted denim.

All best girlfriends in high school are required to own matching pink clothing.

When all else fails, dress like a Serious Business Lady.

And the best way to do that is by wearing a long sleeved shirt that shows your entire stomach, obviously.

Blonde girls wear floral bikinis. Brunettes wear solid-color bikinis. Jewish girls should just cover themselves up.

And Dylan McKay is the only person who has managed to wear them without being immediately laughed to death.

Seriously, I cannot emphasize this enough. It is not only the most important fashion lesson in this entire list, it is the most important fashion lesson ever.