What Your High Heels Say About You

A traditionalist. I can't tell you how you take your coffee, but I can tell that you take coffee, and not Coke Zero or Sanka or some other nonsense. You stick with the same brands forever because you believe that if something is good you stay with it. Some people might think you're boring, but those people don't understand that you just appreciate a good thing when you find it.

You're different! You want them to see that, and them means "everyone." Sure, from the outside you look like just another drone, but you're more than that. You believe in beauty. Quality. Maybe just a little bit of excess. You may be sitting in an office, but in your head, you're hitting the craps table in Monte Carlo.

You're not like all the other reindeer! You enjoy suffering. You want to feel something, anything. Once, George Sand visited her friend Delacroix, who was painting a woman being devoured by a tiger. "The remarkable thing is how pleased the woman looks" said George. "Well," replied Delacroix, "she knows it's better to feel teeth than nothing at all." You are the woman eaten by the tiger.

Your favorite season is summer and you just want to be outside. You just want to walk along a beach and feel your cares dissappear, slowly, as if they were one wave rippling into a larger ocean. You want to know what it is to feel totally relaxed, but, as the strap blisters the back of your ankle, you realize it can never quite be.

You absolutely loved Barbie growing up. You'd like to live in Malibu or at least go visit there. You love chick lit and cocktails that are colored pink. Your teenage years were happy.

When you were young, you watched 'The Wizard of Oz' over and over and begged your mom to let you have sparkly pumps. She wouldn't. You were five. Now you've grown up and you realize that being a grown-up means the freedom to eat ice cream for dinner and wear sparkle shoes to the office if you feel like it. Children everywhere salute you.

You want to go tango dancing in Argentina. You want to kick these off and run along a beach at sunset with a handsome man pursuing you. You want lust and romance and drama. You don't enjoy Nora Roberts novels, but you wouldn't mind your life resembling one.

You want to hop into a time machine and head right back to 1940. You're always forgetting that a war was on! Fine, fine, to a movie version of the 1930's where you can swill martinis and engage in witty banter, and the hem of your silk gown will just brush the top of these D'orsay pumps.

You want to be seen as virtuous and good, but you're so tired of hiding yourself - your true self - under that image. Let it go, just a little bit. Let them see who you are. Big toe out, lady!

You want people to think you're stong and confident - like some sort of Amazon! - but you also want to let one toe wiggle free in the breeze as if you were young, and wiggling your toes in mud. But you know that's not who you are anymore. You just want to remember what it felt like. You're younger than you think!

You are stong and confident and powerful - at least that's what you keep telling yourself. You're afraid to let your weaknesses show because your worried that if one thing goes, everything will slip. You want to feel safe and protected.

As a child, you wanted to be an intergalactic space explorer. As an adult, you want to be an alien. Reality is just so boring. You have considered naming a star after yourself.

You have one thing that interests you more than all the other things, and you want everyone to know about it. Sometimes it's flowers. Sometimes it's zombies. Mostly it's zombies.

You want to seem like you belong in a big city, kicking things up. Or maybe hanging out in a trucker bar in a small town. It changes day to day! You still want flexibility - the way you can slide in and out of ankle boots with ease. You want to seem like you belong places more than you want to actually belong anywhere.

People think you're crazy but you know you're just bold. And brave. Unless you're one of those people who go around saying "I'm so crazy!" in which case, you're just annoying.