Now, it occurred to me that I’ve been putting aside all of my freelance income for 1) a black Prada bag or 2) a black Prada dress. Barring any major unforeseen expenses, I’ll probably be able to afford one or the other in November. Frankly, I would rather have 1) both of them 2) now 3) for free 4) with some sort of love note from the company.

Meanwhile, Lilit would like Bud Light to send her all the beer they’ve got.

Why don’t they? We’re special. Sure, we’re obese cat ladies, maybe not pretty like Julia, but we’re still special. The Ham and Cheese Smart Ones people, whose ads keep popping out at the top of The Gloss think that we’re more fun than a pig in a poke. Maybe we’re obese because of Ham and Cheese Smart Ones! Oh, they’re a diet company. Never mind.

Anyhow, we know it’s impolite to tell companies to bribe you. We’ve read The Rules. We know that we’re supposed to smile at them demurely and wear feminine dresses and laugh at their jokes until they love us. We know we’re not even supposed to return their calls. We imagine that “journalism school” and “ethics classes” probably devote a lot of time to company snaring etiquette, because that’s what they’re there for.

But we’re over that. We’re made some lists, and we’ve decided the following companies should love us and send us stuff. We would both like some vodka companies too, btw.

Here is Lilit’s List

-        Budweiser (Bud Light, specifically)

-          Bojangle’s Chicken and Biscuits

-          Carmex

-          The MTA

-          Whoever makes Cheerwine

Here is My List:

- Prada

- Freixenet

- Chick-fil-a (I would like you to open in New York next to my house, because I love you very much and miss you terribly).

- Every cupcake shop in the world, but if I had to pick one, I’d say Crumbs, specifically the “Good Guy” cupcake.

We don’t really know what to do to go about courting you other than putting out this post. Basically, Prada, Bud Light, Cupcake Shops Everywhere: We are actively pursuing you. We’re not going to leave or send you messages or anything, because we don’t know who to contact and you don’t reply to the love notes that we leave on your counter-tops. But know that as we sit here, we are thinking about you. We are always thinking about you. We are mindfucking you. In conclusion, we’re just going to let Cheap Trick do the talking:

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Post from: TheGloss

Post from: TheGloss

“Putting the Mrs. In Missionary!”

“Orgasms: Maybe You’re Having Too Many Of Them.”

“19 Wives: Too Fundy Or Too Fun?”

“You CAN Have Sex Through A Sheet”

“One Woman’s True Confession: I Used To Be A Filthy Whore, Now I Only Have Sex With Jesus.”

Post from: TheGloss

Post from: TheGloss

Not because I’m a proponent of “go out, sleep with everyone on the world! Embrace your inner Samantha! Have a  sexy epileptic seizure style twitch fest in front of some fundamentalist Muslims!” I’m not. I often think of a friend who told me that when it came to sex, she really believed that “most women would rather just go out to a nice restaurant.” And in a way it’s true. Hell, it doesn’t even have to be a nice restaurant,  a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than mediocre sex.

But good sex? Great sex? There’s nothing better than that.

Maybe this wouldn’t bother me if Tim Gunn just said he derived no enjoyment from sex. Then I guess I could say, “that’s cool, I’m amazed the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches haven’t taken a toll on your physique, but that’s cool.” But he says that he had a romantic relationship over 20 years ago that ended wth “a betrayal so wounding” he never risked romantic involvement again. That isn’t the same as being asexual.

I want Tim Gunn to be having great sex. He seems like he deserves it.

But I guess the real reason it makes me sad is because it makes me worry that Tim Gunn is lonely. I like to imagine him going home to some sort of Huysmans style apartment filled with impressionist paintings where he sits by a fire and sips tea and discusses his day with his handsome partner, who, say, runs fundraising for the Metropolitan Opera. I want to believe that they chuckle warmly over smart-people inside jokes, and bicker over the proper way to load the dishwasher, and have a great sex life that they don’t talk about publicly, because it’s private.

But maybe I’m at fault for thinking that a lack of sex connotes a lack of intimacy. Because a lot of the people who I love the most, who have been in my life the longest, aren’t people I’ve had sex with. Does it really matter whether Tim has sex or not? He’s Tim Gunn. He’s ridiculously beloved because he’s ridiculously cool. I’m sure he has a very lovely life. Maybe good friends and work that you love, maybe that’s enough. But somehow, I can’t help but feel that it’s just not quite enough.

- Gunn’s Blazing – New York Daily News

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Post from: TheGloss

Post from: TheGloss

Simon Doonan is leaving The Observer and will be writing for Slate – Gawker

Candy Pratts Price, formerly of Style.com is going to be the new creative director at Vogue.com. Say her name five times fast. It’s not a tongue twister, it’s just fun – WWD

Karlie Kloss and Hamish Bowles will be on Gossip Girl’s Fashion Night Out Episode! - Fashionologie

Elizabeth Emmanuel, who designed Princess Diana’s wedding dress before going bankrupt, is back.

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[Via Refinery29]

Post from: TheGloss