Subscribe
Desperate Housewives 5.11 “Home is the Place”
Air date: Jan. 11, 2009
Live blog / recap [preview]
Aight, so here’s the deal: Neighbor Peggy and I are watching the ‘wives tonight and commenting about all the events of the show. Some of them might be even witty comments. Check back tomorrow (Monday) for the winners and losers of tonight’s show! (And suggest some of your own if you have ‘em!)
Shall we begin?
9:00: Oh man, we’re starting right off with Crazy Dave bein’ all crazy. I especially love how Mary Alice is talking so nonchalantly about his crazy, too. “And then he went crazy. Oh, and then, and then…”
9:01: How GOOD does Edie look when Dave “bumped” into her?
9:02: Ah, here’s the beginning of the end for Mike. It just seems like he’s been out of the picture for so long, and I’ve kinda forgotten about him.
“And just like that, Dave’s dream of revenge was salvaged.” Yeessss….
9:04: Susan changes the subject from Edie and asks, “Think you can rent my house out?” translation: “Me me me, me me me, me me me.”
9:05: Katherine walked up to Mike’s house as Dave’s mowin’ the lawn. Doesn’t she look like she’s about to whip open the trench coat and flash him?
9:06: Peggy says she’s totally making the moving-to-Baltimore thing up to see what Mike says. Obviously, Mike failed that little mind-reading test.
9:06: Bree looks good! In glasses, and more relaxed? What is it about her? Is it because Melina isn’t in this episode yet?
9:07: Woah! Future son-in-law Alex took an AWESOME character turn and started yelling at Bree not to emasculate Orson because that’s how his mom used to talk his dad. Looks like someone’s script got beefed up.
9:10: Does anyone else want to see what Baby Matt Damon 1’s life is like in the nursing home? Running through the cafeteria and stealin’ all the lime Jell-O and smearing it all over the bingo boards.
9:11: Peggy and I both, at the same time, comment on Edie’s boobs. Is she wearing a bra, and if so, why is it so ineffective? She’s got a bad case of what I like to call the whale boob…you know, like how whales’ eyes are all far apart and on the sides of their heads?
9:14: I have nothing nice to type about Gaby’s kids. So I’m just not going to type anything about them at all. But only because there’s a real little girl playing Juanita.
9:16: Lynette’s mom, “I’m sorry, have we met?” How in the WORLD is she trying to guilt Lynette for putting her in a nursing home when she would’ve done the same? And is she smoking AND drinking in her room? “Sucks to feel powerless, doesn’t it Lynette?”
9:17: Sackarooni?? Did Edie just say sackarooni?? I now have no room in my vocabulary other terms for sex in my life now that Edie introduced me to sackarooni.
9:18: YES. I love Edie. I love her because she’s the only one of her friends who’ll call Susan out on NEEDING A MAN AT ALL TIMES. Thank you, Edie!!
9:19: I would criticize Orson and Bree for their sterile/planned/taking-turns-on-top sackarooni-time, but I’m just happy Bree and Orson are doing the sackarooni. (I think that’s improper usage if the term, but it’s my blog-oetic license, right?)
9:21: I can’t even stop watching this scene between Edie and Susan to type. This is too amazing. The winner? Edie. And not just because she told off Susan, but because she’s RIGHT! She’s strong, independent, and knows what she wants. Even though we might not agree with the, say, quantity of her conquests, girl’s happy being alone and takes only what she wants from a man.
9:22: Oh no, oh no, oh no. Lynette’s in the car. That means the accident’s coming!!
9:23: OH NO! COMMERCIAL BREAK!
9:27: Ahh, I called it. Lynette swindled her mom and the entire viewership. I’m not even sad for her mom.
9:28: I don’t care about Gaby’s storyline this episode. Do you? She bores me as a mom. I want to see her in pretty clothes. I thought Carlos’ new job meant we’d see her in pretty clothes and shoes and sleeping with teenagers again?
9:31: Ugh, I also don’t care about Mike and Katherine. In fact, I’ve grown to hate them as a couple. And he’s in love with her??
9:32: I do, however, care about Alex. The Hodges are better when there’s some turmoil. Alex was far too sweet for far too long.
9:37: I really wish we weren’t getting a reason for why Edie’s the way she is. She doesn’t need a bad childhood to explain her adulthood! She doesn’t need an excuse!
9:39: Gaby deserves smartass little kids. Fine, but she didn’t deserve Juanita to say loved her daddy more. Sad, yes, but made me slightly more interested in this storyline.
9:41: I this is the first time we’ve ever seen Edie open up and reveal a weakness and not wanting people to know her dad was an a-hole.
9:46: What?? The judge threw out Baby Matt Damon 1’s case – a huge storyline – and we didn’t even get to see it??
9:48: I love that Lynette’s mom is asking her how she became a good mom while Gaby’s realizing she’s definitely NOT a good mom.
9:52: It’s only a matter of time before Susan tries to get Mike back. That, or, Dave’ll kill Katherine to get his revenge on Mike. I think I’ll take either. Can we fast forward to that? We’ve already fast-forwarded five years, what’s another one or two?
9:56: Alex just took the words outta my fingers: “Did my mother in law just give me permission to criticize her?”
9:58: Edie told Dave she needed a happy ending. And Susan called Jackson to “talk” about the move. So the happy ending is that Susan became more like Edie, Edie became more like Susan, and all Edie’s friends ignore her calls because they’re more interested in their own lives.
10:00: So did Susan just break up with Jackson? I only care about this because that means Gale Harold probably isn’t coming back if she did.
Dudes, Edie is TOTALLY a winner. Knowing you don’t need a man isn’t negated by wanting to see if you can work through a problem with someone you’ve committed to. And also? I mean… Yes. Dave lied to her. But this lie?? Cleeeearly not the big important lie! If Edie was like, “OK, killing Mike is not OK, because I would still totally do him, GET OUT!”, or whatever, I would agree with her. But “You were married before and you never told me? Even though this is clearly still a big emotional issue for you and you’re the sneakiest, most secretive guy EVER, so I assume you are keeping lots of other secrets too” as a reason to END their marriage??
I could be way off, since (as you all know) I have missed every season since, uh, Season 1, and I may have missed some important Edie/Dave groundwork (ie, the only thing Edie objects to is lying, she asked him directly if he’d ever been married because it would bother her, etc etc) in the, uh, THREE AND A HALF SEASONS OF SHOWS that I missed. Heh.
Anyway, discrading the fact that we know Dave’s a psycho, I still think any relationship Edie builds (as a result of “I don’t need you, but I enjoy being with you”) is going to be stronger and better than any relationship Susan builds (as a result of “OMG I CAN’T BE ALONE MY FACE WILL COLLAPSE AND MY GIANT BOOBS WILL TAKE OVER, OR SOMETHING, SAVE ME, ANYONE WITH MANPARTS!!!!”). And therefore Edie is a winner, and Susan will ALWAYS be a loser.
Reply
Jamie! I’m totally in the process of creating a DesperateBlog presence on MySpace and Facebook! Staaaaay tuned!
(Also, I made a real lol when I read the “Connect! Connect!”, and then said “Hey-oooo!”)
Reply
Amy – are you on Facebook? Would love to Connect! Connect! with you there.
Okay — that was lame. ;-)
Reply
I LOVE the idea of this “Winners” and “Losers” in the comments section (and your choices, as well, Amy!) I love to see different perspectives and I love that we all don’t agree on every single thing. That’s what makes for great conversation and more fun!
Holly — you were SO right about the sex ritual. We were laughing here at home about it, too!
Now, Katherine hasn’t had much of a storyline this season. I don’t want her to die. She has a soft side. You have to remember — she helped Bree out of her alcoholism by moving in and taking care of her while Orson did his time in the slammer. And gosh — with everything she went through with her horrid cop ex-husband (whose name escapes me) and how the housewives rallied to her aid when she needed a self-defense motive after killing him? Dana Delany can run hot and cold (I hear a Katy Perry song playing somewhere) — but I can agree on one thing. She’s no good “in between”. I think she needs to either be a bitch or a total sweetheart (or a combination of both at one time) in order for her character to be likeable.
BTW — what the hell was up with the birds pecking at the body on the roof in the promo for next week?? I’m dying (no pun intended) to see who’s body it is! EEEK!
Reply
Jamie: Good ones!! I’m debating about Edie being a winner though, for all the reasons I ranted about last night. But you’re right…in the end, she went back to him. Does that make all the other stuff moot?
I’m also not super in love with the CHARACTER of Jackson, but I love seeing Gale on TV so much that I want him to come back, y’know? I know, I know. My reasoning is unsavory.
Holly: I think you’re right about Dave killing Katherine. Is it bad that I’m kinda hoping for it? I’m with you on Gaby, though…
I was a big crankypants mcgee about Baby Matt Damon’s quickie trial. Why end a good storyline so abruptly and keep the Katherine/Mike thing going??
You make no sense, DH writers!
Reply
Orson and Bree’s sexual ritual was so funny! Moving the pillows, folding back the sheets, slightly undressing back to back. Man I love them. And I know it’s been said and said but I LOVE Orson this season. Last season he was creepy and weird, but he’s transformed into a carefree, hilarious, will take anything Bree throws at him guy. She’s a winner for the whole Alex situation.
I can’t believe how fast baby-Matt Damon going to jail was cleared up! Weeks and weeks (or it feels like it with the xmas break anyway) of build up and that was it! But I love the idea of him having a wild time in the nursing home.
Dave’s gonna kill Katherine :| I don’t really like her any more, she’s just a little bland. But I don’t want her to die. Dave should be a winner for going mental and losing everything last episode, to getting everything back and seemingly having a plan all in a day or so.
Edie and Susan, genius as ever. Although Susan’s will she/wont she thing got annoying as she clearly wouldn’t Or maybe it’s just annoying because I know the reason for the sudden lack of Jackson. So Susan a loser, Edie a winner.
Gabby was boring. I really miss her being ‘thin and pretty’ and her car and outfits and general awesomee. Loserrrr.
Anything important i’ve missed? Don’t think so. Thanks Amy (and Peggy!) for the awesome blog as ever xx
Reply
*”soon-to-be-son-in-law”, was what I meant.
Reply
Hokay. I’m pretty new to this whole “Winners” and “Losers” thingeemajig — so let me try my hand at it.
There were several of both, in my opinion.
Winner: Bree. Why? Not only did she accept her son as gay — but she also embraced her son-to-be-son-in-law. That went above and beyond her moral backbone. It proved that not only does she love her son, but she has also truly embraced him. That dialogue with Alex? Fan-flipping-tastic!
Loser: Edie. Why? Hear me out. I love every cast member. Without a villain or even just a man dropping a pamphlet off in the mailbox makes “DH” what it is: Blogworthy. I even like Dave. He can play ‘creepy’ like nobody I’ve ever seen! But she’s (back to Edie…) looking for a fairy tale-ending with a man who talks to his dead wife, is downright mean to her, and lies through his teeth? And what in gay hell is up? She’s nosey as all get-out, yet she *still* hasn’t rummaged through that suitcase full of pills??? I did, however know that being locked in the basement was going to somehow cause a bit of a bond between Edie and Susan. I liked the cute smile she gave to Susan after telling her she’d bring her mail by, later on…
Winner: Lynette. Why? Good one with the “accident”! And sitting down with mom at the end, healing old wounds through some libation, laughter, and conversation? Heartwarming.
Loser: Mike and Katherine. Why? I’m with you on this one, Amy. 100%
…but I still like them seperately.
I don’t miss Gale Harold, though. I don’t think he was a good fit for the cast. Neither was Alfre Woodard in Season 2. I wanted the rumors about Beyoncé joining the cast to be true, but that never happened. Ah, well.
And I hope we haven’t seen the last of Lily Tomlin. :(
Another thing that is starting to wear on me is how quickly and tidily some of the storylines are being tied up. (The judge threw out the case? Already?)
But I have a feeling this 100th episode is going to be a whopper.
Something is missing from the show: Mrs. McCluskey. She adds such life to the show. I hope she gets more of a chance to flex her acting muscles. I love her.
One more winner before I go: Orson Hodge. He has really managed to make his character likeable. I enjoy his quirky sense of humor, and great comedic timing. :-)
That’s all from me tonight. Thanks for the awesome live blogging!
Reply