'Desperate Housewives' 5.18: 'A Spark to Pierce the Dark'

Desperate Housewives “Death Falls Upon Edie”
Air Date: March 21, 2009
Liveblog/recap

I’ve got some new thoughts going into this episode this week. After all the hype over the “lesbian kiss” from last week, I’m nervous about the amount of hype surrounding the wife-dying episode. So I’m thinking that because we have five episodes left, that Edie won’t die this episode. So I’ve got a theory — something will happen to her to put her in what I call the “soap opera coma.” You may remember from a few seasons back when Mike was in the “soap opera coma.” Usually, they have some sort of miraculous can’t-happen-in-real-life recovery, but we already know that Nicollette Sheridan is leaving the show, sooo….

Anyway, we’ve got a packed house tonight: Neighbor Peggy, Neighbor Peggy’s boyfriend, Cameron, and friend Erin all are tuning in to watch the OMG-BIG-SCARY-SOMEONE-DIES episode tonight. Enough wasting time, onto the episode!!
9:00:  “Dave Willilams had been planning the murder for years.” …as he eats Doritos.
9:01: This little insight into Dave’s crazy is FANTASTIC. Although, if his plan is to kill Katherine, then obviously his plan is going to go awry and he’s going to kill someone who’s not Katherine. As per my prediction, I think it’s not going to be Edie, but Peggy says it is. She might be right.
9:04: KARL. YES. It’s been way too long since we’ve seen him! I just realized that the only time I really liked Susan was when she had Karl putting her in her place. Now, don’t get me wrong — I don’t think Karl’s a good person, by any means, but I love watching him.

9:05: Mmm. Lucy’s being a nasty mcnasterton to Lynette. I have a funny feeling that this means Lynette’ll be all too happy to help Gaby out in sabotaging Lucy to get her out of Carlos’ life.
9:07: This scene is tooootally the same scene Bree had with Rex. It’s all his problem — and it’s OK to make him see a therapist — until she becomes involved, and then it’s a “private matter” and she can’t speak about it in front of someone else (even IF dude’s a trained doctor).
9:08: Aw, poor emasculated Orson can’t bear switchin’ up the gender roles. I gotz noos for you, Orsy: The show’s called Desperate Housewives. Ain’t nobody said anything about you in the title.
9:09: “Now move the cream corn and do me.” – Gaby
9:13: Aw, that’s cute. Evan’s a baby serial killer. New nickname: Evan Wayne Gacy. “This does make me happy. Where’s my gold star?”
9:14: Aw, that’s cute. I like that Tom an Gaby have become besties. Maybe it’s because I love Tom. So. So. Much. He’s such a good girlfriend! Also, have I just not ever noticed Gaby’s wedding ring? That puppy’s huuuuuge.
9:16: (Let’s see how many times I can start with “aw, that’s cute.”) OK, I would, but there’s nothing cute about this scene. Nope…nothing cute about the fact that Karl should be in every seen. With Swoosie. And Tom. That’s the show I someday want to see, you know, when I rule the world.
9:19: Bree’s selling the company?? What? She’s giving in to Orson’s gender-role whining? Come on, lady!
9:22: I like that Mrs. McCluskey finally called out Dave for his craziness to Edie, but then Edie stands up for Orson. She won’t be doing that soon…
9:24: Bree’s looking at all her honors/awards and whatnot. She’s definitely not going to sell the company. I can bet on it.
9:25: Peggy says it makes sense for Bree to have “this crisis,” and that it’s in character for her. I’m totally disagreeing. Bree’s lately been ridiculously independent and all strong-woman-like. Right?
9:26: Bree wants to talk to Orson. She’s not selling the company.
9:28: Oh, and there’s Orson, turning into Trey MacDougal from Sex and the City. He’s all telling Bree he wants her to sell something that means so much to her? “Steal what you must, my love, but it won’t be my company.” Erin’s response here: <nose snort to the poor script writing>.
9:30: Halfway through the show and this is the first time we see the campers. Death’s not going to happen until the last 10 minutes, right?
9:30: Amy’s Fake Plot-Twist Prediction: So Dave’s opening up a little bit to Katherine. Wouldn’t that be awesome if he and Katherine slept together and he killed someone else instead? Maybe not awesome, but, well, you know.
9:35: Uh oh! Gaby in a robe! Sexy reveal time! And there it is….and now Carlos is tying her up, to keep her away from sexiness away from him. What’s wrong with you, Carlos?? You have the chance to sleep with the country’s sexiest TV woman, and you’re not??
9:37: Oh man. I’m so in love with Evan Wayne Gacy’s drawings. I wonder if I can call up the show and ask to buy one? I imagine it’ll go nicely over my high-heel shaped shoe chair.
9:38: Dave’s springing awake in his human-hunting clothes. Didn’t I see this in “Hostel”?
9:39: Edie TEXTS him that she knows? Isn’t that like telling someone that their mother died or that they want a divorce via text? Dave runs comfortably over to Katherine and Mike (after he misses the shot) and Erin smartly points out, “how’s your knee, bud?” Also, why do I feel like Dave’s going to head back home, all angry, and strangle Edie??
9:42: Oh man. I’m kinda praying that Karl and Susan get back together. Just because it’s good TV — not because anyone should be with him. OK, maybe it’s because I secretly have a crush on him? No one else in the room agrees with me, though. Erin and Cameron say that he’s talking like Gob from “Arrested Development.”
9:46: I always love it when Gaby and Carlos have touching moments. Other than Tom and Lynette, these two are the only two couple I truly love as a couple.
9:47: Gaby’s kids are asking for toys in Carlos’ office. Hmmmmm, where’s this going to go?
9:48: Man, I’m just ON it will calling things tonight. The girls play with the ugly blown-glass animals, and Lucy goes nutso on them. I kinda liked Lucy last episode, but she’s completely become this horrible domineering person this episode. Not good for business, ladypants. Unless your name is Karl.
9:50: Lynette’s been sleeper star of this episode. She’s getting in her little jabs, quietly — like telling Lucy to make sure to take her toys with her when she goes.
9:54: We have six minutes to kill a wife. Don’t do this to me two weeks in a row, guys.
9:55: It’s face-off with Dave and Edie time. Five minutes to kill a housewife.
9:57: Dave married Edie because he “loved her.” Last time I checked, if a verb is in the present tense, it doesn’t end in -ed. Three minutes. This death has to involve Orson, right? I mean, he’s all running away from Bree, probably to steal Lucy’s ugly glass animals or something.
9:57: “He destroyed everything I ever loved, and he was never punishd. I need to make things right.” Oh, man. Edie’s just breaking my heart. She’s been doing that a lot lately, and it’s more than the fact that she’s leaving the show. And now she’s trying to call Mike, which isn’t going to make Dave happy. This is where it’s going to happen.
9:58: Dave tries strangling her. Called that. That was really rough to watch…
10:00: I kinda wish we hadn’t seen Edie get electrocuted. It was like seeing the alien in “Signs” for me — mysterious green fingers under the door/the dangling wire was enough for the mystery. Actually seeing it makes it less mysterious and more unbelievable. Finger twitch = soap opera coma, right? Was this episode especially predictable, or was I just good tonight?