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“Desperate Housewives”: “Would I Think of Suicide”
Original air date: Nov. 29, 2009
Liveblog/recap
So it’s just Erin and me watching tonight. And I don’t mean to say that as if, oh, ho hum, it’s just Erin and me, and we’re watching “Desperate Housewives” tonight. I mean OMGWEREWATCHINGDESPERATEHOUSEANDWERESOOOOEXCITED. It’s been two weeks, and we’s hard up for some ‘wives. And I’m attempting to make some veggie chili, which I stupidly started RIGHT BEFORE the show started….which is somewhat of a small indicator of why Amy’s name isn’t Bree, and why she doesn’t have an extremely successful homemakery business.
Too much ramble about nonsensicalness! On to the show! (As always, follow me on Twitter here!)
9:02: Hello Desperate Housewives!! Why does it seem like forEEEVVER (Sandlot-style) since we’ve been here? Because it HAS.
9:03: Who’s that woman sitting with our ‘wives? The one suggesting self-defense classes? Since when have been friends with other women?
9:04: Tom. Sewing. Reading sports. They cancel each other out. Best man ever. Ever.
9:04: Am I the only one thinking we don’t need to apologize to Carlos for lying about the pregnancy??
9:04: How about CARLOS apologize to LYNETTE for SEXUALLY DISCRIMINATING AGAINST HER?
9:05: “Then if you don’t mind, I have work to do.” Well done, Lynette.
9:06: Maybe not? “Are you kidding me? These twins have a better office.”
9:07: So are we thinking Nick did the killing/attacking of Julie? I’m thinking it’s never the obvious one, sooo……Nick….not it?
9:08: No. Nick didn’t do it. Angie? She seems like she has some sort of vendetta against her own husband, maybe?
9:08: Oh, they’ve been on the run 18 years. As old as Danny is, eh?
9:09: O…..M…..GOD. Bree in the ghetto? And yes, I just sang that like Elvis.
9:11: Ha! Bree’s finding out about Orson’s rip-roaring days down in the penitentiary.
9:11: (For the record, I just said “penit–penitent–ugh, how do you spell that??” I eventually got it right. Without no Googles!)
9:15: Oh, MJ. What’s up? Forgot you existed. Maybe your mother did, too.
9:16: Thank the LAWD. Someone has given MJ acting tips!
9:17: Yes, Mike! “Did you actually my 6-year-old son his mother’s a bad person?” What’s with the men WINNING on this episode??
9:17: Wait, except Carlos. No goodness in THAT one.
9:18: YES. Susan sees Julie’s car. The one Karl took. And is going to catch Bree and Karl??
9:18: Actually, no. She’s — for once — being a good mom and trying to talk her down.
9:19: Man, I’m jumping to all sorts of conclusions tonight, hey? She’s gonna bust right in on them….
9:19: So THAT’S why Julie dyed her hair red this season….
9:20: “Susan’s in the middle of all the love triangles.” -Erin
9:25: Is Gaby seeeeriously going to walk away from her pregnant friend? This is INFURIATING ME.
9:26: Ha! Pitiful Lynette, sharpening her pencil in her itty bitty baby office.
9:26: Oh, it’s just attack of Kids We Never See, hey? There’s Ana! Almost forgot about her…
9:27: Mmm, I just got a feeling that Danny did it???
9:28: Julie’s at LEAST five years older than Danny, right?
9:28: Erin points out that Danny’s got his hand in his pocket…
9:29: “I killed a man.” -Angie. There THAT is.
9:31: Danny? Empty pill bottle? Whaaaaat….????
9:35: Whooooa McCLUSK!!! Who knew you had THAT in you??
9:36: Susan putting Bree in a sleeper hold? Awesome.
9:37: This is scene is far, far too good for words.
9:37: I am SO proud of Lynette for suing Carlos.
9:38: “Sorta my way of saying ‘I’m sorry and here’s some crap to prove it.’” -Gaby
9:39: Hahahahaha. Amazing. Lynette chasing Gaby down the street as Gaby is giving away all her “I’m sorry” crap.
9:45: This ridiculousness between Carlos and Lynette is getting out of hand. But Lynette is almost 100 percent in the right.
9:46: “There he is, Bree. That is the man you say you want to be with.” – Susan, about her ex-husband and Bree’s current lova.
9:47: Ha! Susan just asked Bree if she’s drinking again.
9:48: I’m pretty convinced now that Karl’s going to die. His storyline is going to end once Bree realizes who Karl reeeeeeaaaaaally is.
9:48: I’m proud of Susan for being big about the Bree/Karl thing. I’m proud of ALL of the ladies tonight. And the men! (except Carlos, still).
9:50: Nov. 10, 1991. Where were you? I was in my first grade class at Siebert Elementary. Yeah well, Angie killed someone that day. Big whoop-de-doo what I was learning in Ms. Mitzel’s class.
9:51: Erin’s calling it that Danny heard every word between Nick and Angie as he was “asleep” on the hospital bed.
9:56: “You’re really going to do this?” – Lynette. Is he…really going to do this?
9:56: Wow, Lynette and Carlos have known each other — and been friends — for HOW long?? And THIS is the way he’s treating her?
9:57: “My name’s Tyler.” -Danny
9:57: OMG, and Katherine’s got MJ?
9:58: Um, Mike? She’s got a knife. What’s your goal in this situation??
9:59: “If you mean it, then please kill me. It would be less painful.” …Mike’s response?? “I don’t care enough about you to kill you.”
10:00: Is he being SERIOUS? I’m not sure what’s up with Mike if he’s being for real…??
10:01: And then there’s that. Katherine just stabbed herself. Erin says she’s going to blame it on Mike. Or maybe Susan?
10:01: And next week is the plane crash episode!! YAAAYY!!
For once Susan is part winner. She’s always so insecure and attackig other women, but there she way big, for wishing Bree and Karl all the best. Mike finally told Katherine what she was looking for. I couldn’t care less if she commited suicide.
. GO LYNETTE, beat C.’s ass! 
Carlos, you’re not even worth a WORD, so … And Gaby too. Can’t believe it!
Tom was funny with glasses
@JAZ: I find Carlos attractive
. Not now, of course, when he’s an ass, but otherwise … Of course Mike is my favourite but …
@damien: I think you’re right about ex-cons stuff. It makes sense.
PS: Is it just me or is Desperate Housewives slowly turning into Gossip Girl? You know, everybody has dated/slept with everybody???
Lynette may have played it very smart in being a little bit late with Carlos’s ‘deadline’. If he had let it go she’d know that he was coming around and would make nice soon. If he did something drastic (like fire her) she’d have a leg up in her lawsuit because it’s so flimsy a reason it’s obvious she being harassed. Someone who was previously held up as needed to start up and run a new branch obviously doesn’t have a history of problems with punctuality and something’s up if someone tries to get rid of her for missing one deadline that didn’t cost the company a single client or penny. 9 am vs 10 am. Being real it wouldn’t have mattered a rat’s rear end at 10:01 am
Well, I think Lynette filed a lawsuit BEFORE she was fired. Not a smart move on Carlos’s part. How much you wanna bet he never mention THAT to his legal counsel? Lynette will be suing (or winning a settlement against) an airline fairly soon as well, I’m willing to bet… I think Lynette and Tom are going to take down the Solises as the new rich folk!
CARLOS IS GOING TO DIE! I just know it.
*sing-songy voice* Bree said she loves Karl! Aaaaaw. I’ve been waiting for that moment for as long as I can remember.
Orson and Carlos and Katherine- Douchebag, Jerk, Crazy!!! LOSERS.
Susan- I hate her. Always have. But she gets a win for being nice to my two fave characters.
Lynette- I LOVE HER! She’s kickin’ ass and takin’ names.
Danny- “Why? Because you slept with my dad?” Way to go, kid. Honest and confrontational. You make me proud.
But Carlos warned Gaby he’d be miserable working for an unethical boss like Bradley. Now he’s the boss. He has no excuse if he doesn’t approve of the goings on. There’s nobody he can try to get to share the blame with him if he does unethical or illegal things. Nobody forced him to ilelgally discriminate like he did.
kim and ryeloza, am not sure about the ex-con thing ,but i think it mean someone who was in jail with you at the same time, while you were there ! and ex-cons stop being ex-cons at some time and after a period, so i guess here it is !!!
or maybe orson wasn’t in the same jail that mike carlos went to !!!
and JAZ, what i ment ny ” reaction” was the first reaction she should have, and that was her ” oh MY god”s ” oh MY god”s when she saw them from the window ! and then attacking bree !
but yet i was happy to see her giving them her blessing and being glad for them ! it made me love her ! and i don’t blame the writers for anything !
damien: about susan’s reaction to bree and karl- she wasn’t as upset about bree dating her ex as she was about knowing bree is with a man who hurt her. i think she was trying to save her from going through the same thing she went through. i actually thought she would get all dramatic and say their friendship is over forever. good for her.
“I don’t think that Carlos reverting back to his season 1 behavior is completely out of character either. He warned Gaby back when she forced him to take the job that he was going to be miserable and I think that’s what we’re seeing now.”
good point ryeloza. but hes still an a-hole. and so is Gaby. I really hope he either gets sued or killed in the plane crash now. i’m over Carlos. and he’s the least attractive husband on the show anyways.
HOLEEE MOLEEEE!!!! I LOVE THIS SHOW!!!! I agree the whole Catherine thing is way out there-she is obviously obsessed with Mike and Susan…MIKE, talk about kicking a dog while it’s down!!! He certainly put Catherine in her place, I was kinda scared of him for a minute, but couldn’t believe Catherine actually picked MJ up and took off with him!(C-R-A-Z-Y) I wish they would do something about Orson-it’s dragging on-and-on. Maybe that’s who gets outed in the plane crash…we never see him anyways…I am beginning to wonder if the random killing of coffee girl/Julies attacker, was done by an outside person related to the newest family on wysteria lane. Angie definately has a shady past we don’t even know about yet, and the victims seem to be linked to her husband somehow-they said it was a man that was the attacker on tonights episode. Boy, Carlos is back to his old self-cut throat as ever! Lynette is way out of her league! Especially while pregnant, they both are two-faced! I am eager to see what happens next!
Carlos is also an ex-con.
Can I ask everyone a quick question?? Bree trying to get Orson arrested by hanging out with an ex-con……. is Mike not an ex-con himself?? Why go through the hassle of hiring his ex cell mate?
I liked this episode a lot. I don’t think that Carlos reverting back to his season 1 behavior is completely out of character either. He warned Gaby back when she forced him to take the job that he was going to be miserable and I think that’s what we’re seeing now. If you think about it, we haven’t seen Carlos really work in business since s. 1, so I don’t think it’s completely unrealistic that he might revert back to being a hard ass. Plus he and Gaby are both characters who don’t like to admit they’re wrong and they don’t forgive easily, so I could believe that both of them would hold a grudge. Regardless, I’m enjoying the plot. I’d like to see someone punch Carlos though. I don’t particularly care who does it.
My main problem as far as consistency goes is with the timeline. How is MJ only 6 when Juanita just turned 7 a couple of episodes ago? That’s the sort of thing that pushes my buttons.
The Carlos being a Jackass again is completely out of character. Seriously, he has this life-changing blindness last season that makes him change his perspective on life, and now in the blink of an eye he’s going to throw away a 15 year friendship with people he’s going to have to see everyday since they live right across the street. That just doesn’t make sense. Also, am I the only one who thinks he’s a bad husband? Because dude is constantly taking his fat kids’ side in arguments with Gabby. As a husband, you are supposed to support your wife (especially if your kids are being brats). And really, dudes the president of a company, but can’t find another private school in town to send his kid to, so Gabby has to “Home-School” that chubby in-great.
I wonder if the writers just think we’ve forgot about the 5 previous seasons of character development?
Amy, we must be the same age about because I was in 1st grade in 1991, too!! (Or maybe it was Kindergarten…?)
Anyway, Carlos is definitely a loser. I think he deserves two if not all THREE spots this week because he is being an total A-hole.
Although, Katherine probably deserves a spot too. OR the lady at that party. Seriously, you don’t send a kid home with someone who isn’t the kid’s parent. That’s just DUMB.
Winners: Lynette for realizing family is more important going to her daughter’s play and for suing Carlos.
Susan for being the bigger person. Or maybe she’s waiting to be able to say “I told you so.” to Bree.
Tom and Mike for being awesome. I love your comment about Tom, Amy, because I totally thought the same thing. And Mike was protecting his family which is always a plus in my book.
The writers are putting people out of their character. Well, Bree has been out of character ever since season 3, I wrote about that a long time ago. The Solis-Scavo feud is taking proportions that are hard to believe and Carlos is back to being an ass from season 1-2 and I guess it’s allright. Katherine was WAY out of line yesterday. It was fun seeing her having those problems with getting over Mike but her antics of yesterday were devious. They shouldn’t have to push her that far, now her character has gone overboard. At the end of season 4, she was one of them, one of the wives, but now… Susan is the only one that stayed within character and I don’t have much to say about that besides that its sad and I didn’t apreciate last night’s episode. Good grief, I’m actually looking forward next week’s plane crash to end all this madness.
totally in love with this episode ! in fact in love with the whole season ! i must say ! i am getting sick of susan’s reactions about her friends dating her exes ! especially the one dating karl ! bree, beside being her best friend, she should remember that she had a divorce with karl ELEVEN years ago !!!!
I don’t know. This was certainly a hard episode to watch (in a good way). I hate this Carlos. I think Lynette still has a case since she served him with the papers before he let her go. Hmmm.
Susan has grown from a clumsy oaf to a smart cookie. Loving it.
DYING to see the plane crash episode. This is crazy!
p.s. I think Katherine is just going to try for the sympathy card. But Mike’s prints are on the knife as well… Hmmm.