Winners and losers from 'The Best Thing That Ever Could Have Happened'

Read last week’s winners and losers

It’s time for our weekly game of winners and losers! Please remember these are up to you, too, so if you see someone you think should be a winner/loser in Sunday’s episode, e-mail or comment it to me!

Onward to the winners and losers of the ‘wives game!

WINNERS:

1. Eli: Biggest surprise in the world alert! Y’all had NO idea I was going to pick him, right? There are certain occasions when you can overlook the stupid devices TV folks use to make things easier on them. The dream sequence, replacing a character because the actor quit/died and bringing in some rando to make up a good storyline all are those devices. It’s allowed, if it works. Eli worked. I was endeared to him over the course of an hour, and sista wasn’t willing to budge early in the episode (as you know.)

2. Nicollette Sheridan: You’ll notice I listed Nicollette instead of Edie. There’s a reason for it. Nicollette’s the one who did all the work to make her body that hot, so Nicollette deserves the credit, not Edie. I mean, the woman’s 45 for St. Tushie’s sake, kids! When we were watching the “Does my ass look nice, Eli?” part, I mistakenly turned up the volum e. The volume bar at the bottom screen BLOCKED HER ASS FOR 10 SECONDS. Needless to say, the TV couldn’t hear my shrieking and I had to YouTube it to watch again.

3. Mary Alice: Of all the people Eli helped, Mary Alice really was the only one to really, really gain from it. I know, the other ladies were better from his little life lessons, but Mary Alice actually helped him in return. I always wonder what she’d be like if she were still around. She seems so much less of a caricature of a human than the others, doesn’t she? She’s just a nice lady.

LOSERS:

1. Rex: I don’t know where 100th Episode Rex came from. I mean, dude cheated on Bree with a prostitute, so it’s not like he ever would’ve won Husband of the Year, but man..he’s all telling Bree that her place is in the kitchen, and belittling her when she says she wants to actually get a career. I was happy to see you, Rex, but in your first cameo in three years, you’re a LOSER!

2. Susan: There’s not ever going to be a list of losers in the foreseeable future that Susan’s not on. She’s just been so gross in every way this season, she can’t possibly be a winner. If she continues to scream and yell at people (Like, oh, Eli) who are only trying to help her — and being whiny and pathetic and all “OMG, I, like, canNOT live withoutta man” — then forever on the loser list she will be!

3. I can’t think of another loser. This might be a good thing, or it just means I was so sold by this episode that my brain isn’t thinking in terms of losers? Not true! There has to be another one! What do you guys think? Who’s a loser?

Photo source: CTV