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People aren’t satisfied with regular sex anymore.  They want to shake things up and explore new frontiers.  They want excitement and possibly even danger.
If you are looking for new ways to bring excitement into your sex life, look no further.  The following five techniques are virtually guaranteed to turn you into a goddess of unpredictability.
1.  The Sniper
There’s no better way to create surprise and excitement than randomly ambushing your partner at a time of great vulnerability.  Hide in the bathtub and wait for your partner to come in and try to use the toilet.  No one expects a sexual ambush on the toilet.
2.  The Car Alarm
Sudden, loud noises add mystery and unpredictability.
3.  The Emergency
What better way to get your man’s adrenaline pumping than to pretend that you are having a seizure or suffering an aneurysm during sex?
4. Â The One Where You Run Away
Men love a challenge. Â To satisfy his innate desire to chase and catch things, why not get up in the middle of sex and run away?
5. Â The Shapeshifter
Role-playing can be exciting, but the most exciting is surprise role-playing!
 | Find 10 Dates That Are More Creative Than Getting Drunk |
I wish someone would fix the HTML on this page so I could see all the pictures/ text :(
Yes! I’m having the same problem! Please fix!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh my god, I do #4 all the time.
He humours me.
Allie, with not one word of a lie, my boyfriend performed #3 ON MY BIRTHDAY last year.
Cue a hasty drive to the hospital, some very embarrassing explanations about what we were doing when this ‘anurysm’ presented and 6 (!) FAILED lumbar punctures, the only test result we had was that the failed lumbar punctures probably caused the blood in his CSF. Joke was on bf when they hit a nerve during the 7th (and final) lumbar puncture and made him scream in agony. You’re right though, it totally got me hot :D
Oh, and it turned out to be a pinched nerve. Good times.
You are hilarious! I love all of your posts but this is my favorite one :) You made an entire clinic roar with much needed laughter! (Not easy to do because we treat wounded warriors…’nough said)
why is there a picture of themselves over the toilet?
That’s not a picture.
It’s a tiny window with tiny people peeking inside laughing at Allie’s sexy antics.
The car alarm picture is the funniest damn thing I have seen in a very long time. I laughed until tears and snot made me stop laughing, and start sniveling.
Oh…the smiley knee thing….I know this.
Ok, when I was a wee little girl and took ballet lessons, our teacher would tell us to keep our legs straight, so our knees would smile. It has to do with how the bones and joints are in your knees.
Since I was born with an extra bone in each knee, I had a double smile.
Why does the guy on the toilet have smiley faces on his knees?
/just wonderin’
I’ve personally done the bathroom one…you end up being a victim though if you wait too long…if you know what I mean!
…er funny* … must’ve got cut off or stg, idk.
Pretty fun and cute pics lol… About #4 though… I don’t know when or how the myth of “men love a challenge” was perpetuated. But, I for one do not. I hate all the stupid games that people play in the dating scene…js :/
omfg. This is the most hilarious thing you’ve written so far for the Gloss. I’m very lucky my co-workers have just left as I smother uncontrollable laughter.
(I’m also glad to have discovered this site through you.)
the look on her face as she runs away is priceless.
LMAO! I actually have a heart condition, and once right at a crucial point, I felt my heart skipping over and over, and suddenly I wasn’t breathing. When I woke up, my husband was shaking me and pouring water in my mouth. The doctors all agreed that I passed out. This had the opposite effect for my love life. My husband was afraid to touch me for a long while after that one. Try if you don’t mind the risk that he will be afraid of accidentally loving you to death. LOL!
Amazing that I have only tried two of these and thought myself pretty adventurous I will indeed have to try the others. ( not telling which two)
I love how your mind works. And you’re right, the seizure technique works great! ; )
Allie- can’t help noticing none of these women look like your animated self- what do you do? Maybe you don’t have to do anything yet- trust me though it will get boring
See, I think this is where my mom gets her ideas. I’ve heard a car alarm coming from her room when the “plumber” was here.
Great one Allie! I loved the look on the guy’s face when the girl ran away!
(Thanks for ending my confusion about the ALOT. I keep it as wallpaper!)
superb. these clearly can’t fail.