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My boyfriend travels a lot for work. When he’s away he’ll call me and we’ll talk. He always wants to have phone sex. He really likes phone sex, and I hate it. It just seems weird to talk about fucking instead of just have sex. I know the point is that he’s not around so we can’t have sex, but listening to him talk does nothing for me. Maybe it’s a hangup, but I just want to hang up.
I am a visual person. Reading erotica turns me on. Watching porn turns me on. But trying to talk about what my boyfriend and I would be doing to each other if we were naked? It doesn’t do anything for me. I like eating ice cream instead of talking about eating ice cream, and I like listening to music instead of talking about music. I’m a doer! I miss my boyfriend when he’s gone, but can’t we just have hot sex when he gets back and use up all that sexual tension that built up while he was away? I like to experiment. If he suggested bondage or something, I’d try it. But I’ve tried phone sex, and it’s not for me. Am I the only person who feels that way?
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I have phone sex a looot when me and my partner are apart. The sound of someone enjoying sex really turns me on more than watching someone have sex. And my partner loves it too.
Jaina Gregor…I agree with you!!!
Not at all!
It’s one thing for him to tell you some little hot thing he’s going to do to/with you when he gets back, raising some tension for his imminent return. It’s another to hear a long diatribe about the entire event, as if its scripted out in his head. Rather objectifying, really!
I luv it! In my case it’s the other way around, I keep hinting when we’re talking on the phone late at night and he hardly ever gets it until I say straight forward what I’m trying to do.
I think if you like reading dirty stuff, which is all about imagining what the words are telling, you could like phone sex, because it’s similar, you’re listening to the words, but you have a chance to participate in the fantasy, to personalize it, and there’s the fact that someone you actually have the hots for is telling the words to you, reacting to yours…
Another way to see it is as kind of assisted self pleasuring. It’s just like you would touch yourself any other time, but you have a sexy voice putting images in your head, and you can actually remember what (some of) the things feel like, and how much you enjoyed last time he did that exact move, and how he reacted when you touched that exact spot…
I just really like it, and I think it contributes to the tension when he comes back, saying and hearing about all types of things and not really feeling them, makes you (or at least me) really hungry for them.
I think it’s kind of hot in theory, but I never know what to say. Things that sound sexy whilst naked in bed sound kind of stupid on the phone.
Ladies, digital pictures are forever. Don’t do it!
Ladies, digital pictures are forever. Don’t do it!
Seriously! That shit never goes away. Everyone I’ve ever known who’s taken dirty pics has regretted it someday.
I could not do it without laughing. even dirty talk in bed makes me want to cringe a little. i don’t consider myself a prude, but i totes agree that hearing it is just not as much fun as doing. and i did long distance for like…two years almost. i like to think the lack of week-day fun inspired more weekend visits for the real thing!
oh, but i could probably do with lots of flirty, sexy texts.
My boyfriend I were in a long distance relationship for a year and sent each other dirty texts all the time. It worked out all right because I could be in the middle of doing dishes and reply to him with something smutty. And he never knew.
Also, when you are looking really cute or feeling really confident, take some racy pics of yourself if different outfits, or nothing at all but a different hair do. Then you each trip he takes, send him a pic from your own carefully put together bank of spank and tell him that’s what you are doing *right now.* In a text, of course.
I’m down. But then I guess I fall into the category of “a lady in the street but a freak in the bed!” : )
But are you a freak ON THE PHONE?
I totally agree.It`s weird talking about things that you actually want to do,maybe I lack imagination,but I can`t find pleasure in that.And the sexual tension that will build up it`s great.I know that when my boyfriends and I don`t have sex a few days because of work…when we get together..omg..;))
SKYPE! That’s what my husband and I did for the three weeks he was in Europe for work. That and texting naughty pictures of ourselves randomly (which we did WAY before sexting became a “thing”)
It makes me uncomfortable. I feel way more like I’m being put on the spot. I’m just much more sexually confident about my actual abilities in bed than I am in my descriptions of them. However if the guy was really good, and encouraging, and sounded like he was into it, I’d do it occasionally. Then we get to do something that I’d like to do that he’s a little less into. Reciprocation is what makes it worth it.