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Just typing the term “titty fuck” is reprehensible.
Wikipedia refers to the act as “mammary intercourse” which makes it sound so… civilized. Maybe my disgust is misplaced and titty fuckers are actually the most erudite among us. Maybe this kind of sexual contact that occurs when a couple are quietly taking tea and a woman thinks to herself, “Perhaps I’d like to be sat upon with his member betwixt my breasts, bumping gaily against my chin!” But I don’t buy it. Also, I’m making a mental note here to come up with some pleasant euphemisms for vulgar acts.
Sex in these trying modern times has evolved a curious disconnect between what looks good and what feels good (and isn’t hilarious). This probably has something to do with the staggering amount of pornography available to anyone with an internet connection. This is conjecture, of course, because the porn influx didn’t exist a couple generations ago, but I’d wager that pornography’s ubiquity has made us strangely prone to obsess about the way sex might appear to a viewer.
This wager hinges on my near certainty that titty fucking isn’t pleasurable for at least 50% of those involved (namely, ladies). Sure, women engage in plenty of sex acts that are usually arousing though not necessarily physically pleasurable (eg, performing oral sex). But titty fucking seems to be a completely different animal: in that the only conceivable appeal is the pleasure afforded to the male participant. From the female perspective, it seems at worst awkward or even degrading… and at best distractingly hilarious.
So, my question: was titty fucking invented largely by porn or are there actually adult human men out there who say to themselves, “My creative vitality isn’t satisfied with all those regular orifices.” I just can’t fathom people—normal sad people—doing this.
Like, imagine a couple who’s been together for a few years, working their menial jobs, anonymous in 9 to 5’s with forty-minute commutes stacked ominously on each end, slaving under the fluorescence and chewing freeze-dried noodles in that listless bovine way. Every weeknight they’re paralyzed as the other gets fatter and older and less in love, they’re living for the weekend which will never deliver, getting there at last and lacking the will to even look at the high heels and complicated macquillage of years past. Then they’re crawling out defeated to some shitty bar filled with desperate assholes equally in denial about the distance to their youth, talking about last week’s episode of House, then getting into a meaningless argument, maybe he glances at some hag, but really they argue out of anger at confrontation with the excruciating trivialities of their existence. Finally, they’re giving up on getting drunk and just ordering some take-out from the mediocre Thai place down the block and squabbling about whose turn it is to pay, taking it home and finding out they gave them pad thai, which they didn’t order, they wanted curry, but it’s not worth it to go back, and finally with guts swollen inelegantly and MSG sacks beneath the eyeballs, at last resigned to the devastatingly mundane and sober sex they have every two weeks, he looks at her and he says, “How about in the tits?”
That doesn’t happen, right?
One of the good things I remember about my bitch of an ex, who’s initials are O.K. by the way, incase you recognize my screename- is that she used to love to try and TF. She went around wearing the tight sweaters and doing the fake yawn stretch all the time seeking approval attention because she considered them to be her best asset- and always denying thats what she was doing- but I will always remeber how even if they did look good in a tight sweater, they were never enough for a decent TF. Sorry hun, not just cause you screwed up our relationship, but just because its true. So yes, people do – do it, and women do enjoy it. Its too bad though some women who think they can enjoy it, really dont have enough to, lol.
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Love to TF the Mrs. She loves it or loves me a lot because I’ll get txts saying she wants one when we get home from work.
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So ok, say you were casting a sex act version of The Breakfast Club. Which actor would play this role?
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Anything’s fun for 30 seconds. (“Hey look, I’m rubbing it in your hair!”) After that, somebody’s got some ’splaining to do.
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I registered just to comment on this as well and to defend the act of titty fucking!!! I’m sorry others haven’t enjoyed the act as I do. It does require a decent sized chest and some good ol’ fashioned lube but I love to be titty fucked! It is super sexy to me when my boyfriend is kneeling over me naked. :) As he is in between your boobies, overlap your fingers across your cleavage and allow his well-lubed manhood to stroke back and forth..so hot! I am also a fan of giving head, so maybe I’m just a minority, but let him put it in your mouth momentarily at times during the titty fuck sesh = extra fun. This pretty much makes me orgasm every time. I’m in a long term relationship and the titty fucking was my idea. Another disclaimer, I’m one of those chicks who orgasms very easily and loves sex all together so maybe that’s why it’s more fun for me.
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My repressed, annoying, big breast obsessed ex really loved to tit fuck…I would just lie there grimacing & rolling my eyes fantasizing about it being over very quickly. It was quite pleasurable for him which always freaked me out because it was so silly to me & he never sensed that I felt that way…So I was either great at seeming interested without even trying or he was just a self absorbed ass.
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Yeah, it really isn’t fun to titty fuck a small boobed girl
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what are your thoughts on an alligator fuck house?
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The thing about tittyfucking is that if you have small boobs, like I do, there’s not much friction. It just chafes, which is not hot.
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I’ve been waiting years for someone to write something this thought provoking about ttityfucking
you’ve really cleared some things up for me, thanks!
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This article is so brilliant, I had to register to let you know how much I enjoyed it!
Damn, I would have never thought I would consider a piece about tittyfucking to be thoughtprovoking!
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thank you kindly!
PS
…mom?
No, just a girl on the Internets :)
It occurred to me that I will surely remember this article the next time I am engaged in tittyfucking… LOL!
shouldn’t this be a pole? (pun, sigh, intended)
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