She’s alive! We haven’t seen much of Nicollete Sheridan out and about since Edie was killed off the show, but she was shopping with friends and her dog, Oliver, at the Malibu Country Market on Saturday. Look, they’re just like us.

Just seeing her makes me sad. She was never my favorite character, but I always knew Edie was vital to the show. We’ll see if they can make it without her next season, I guess.

Image: Pacific Coast News

Post from: TheGloss

With Sarah Palin’s recent announcement that she’ll be stepping down early as governor of Alaska, we’re going back to some old rumors that swirled late last year: that she could become the newest desperate housewife. Ken Tucker from Entertainment Weekly has the same idea.

It was sort of mentioned lightly last year, what with her hot career in politics and all….but now? This is seriously a viable option for the conservative pro-abstinence parent of an unwed teenage mother. Ken’s reasoning is that we need a replacement for Edie. I disagree — we need someone to take over the NRA-badge-totin role on this show. Bree’s gotten far too moderate these days, don’t you think?

So I’m using this blog as a political platform. Post a comment if you want to see the former VP candidate as an actress on “Desperate Housewives.” Maybe she and Marc will see it and listen to us. You, American Desperate Housewives Fans, can have your voice heard!

Who’s with me??

Image: Bauer Griffin

Post from: TheGloss

Hard-edged tough chick Drea de Matteo — you know her from “The Sopranos” (and maybe “Friends” spin-off “Joey”…Anyone? Anyone?) — will be the next woman in desperation to take up residence on Wisteria Lane as a series regular, Entertainment Weekly is reporting.

Not moving far from her “Sopranos” roots, de Matteo will be the head of an Italian household, and will be married to a landscaper and have a “tightly wound” son, according to EW.com’s Michael Ausiello. Both of those roles have yet to be cast, but as long as they’re good actors, I don’t care who they are. I just can’t wait to get some “Sopranos” gangsta action to the ‘burbs.

I am SO excited for this move, and here’s why: Every town has its village idiot, right? Wisteria Lane is no different — except they need the village slut. Edie’s dead, so who’s going to take on that title? I’m thinking Drea’s character is going to take a lot from Edie role, but will be stronger and bring a rougher, more masculine housewife to the show.

Yay!

P.S. I’m calling it right now: She and Susan are NOT going to get along.

Image: Pacific Coast News

Post from: TheGloss

So, this is more of a theory about the rest of the season than just a prediction for tomorrow night’s show, but I have this feeling that Edie’s not going to die from the electrocution. The accident happened with far too many episodes left in the season for her to die from that, you know? I’m still thinking there’s some great shocking twist, and I’m pretty confident Dave’ll kill Katherine.

What do you think? Am I nuts and don’t know what I’m talking about, or am I on base with this?

P.S. Dear Edie: You look creepy lying there with your eyes open. Quit it! <shuddering>
P.P.S. Yay! New “Desperate Housewives”! It’s been way, way too long.

Post from: TheGloss

Edie’s always been sorta the outsider, so it’ll be nice to see her in this way. Plus, now that she’s leaving, isn’t it about time she got her face in the ending of the opening credits?? Come on, Marc!

Post from: TheGloss

It’s funny, but Marcia Cross sounds like she’s taking tips from Bree’s mothering habits — and doing the exact opposite for her real-life children.

It’s good news (for DH fans) to hear that she’s got no interest in reprising her character of Dr. Kimberly Shaw Mancini for the Melrose Place remake — because she feels like she’s done everything possible with that character. How much more can she do with Bree?

Post from: TheGloss

I’m not sure this is a huge surprise to anyone, but Neal McDonough — dude who plays Crazy Dave on the show — told Access Hollywood that he’d be the one to murder Edie.

“I had to do something nasty to my wife in the show,” he said. “I go hunting in the woods and I’m not hunting for deer.”

He also goes on to say that he might kill someone else? I mean, the target’s Mike. Think he misses and hits Edie instead of Mike?

Guesses?

Also, can we talk about how Neal seems to be the only actor saying things he probably shouldn’t be saying? Everyone else is so tight-lipped. I’m hoping he’s not getting into any trouble with Marc Cherry, but man, keep it up, Neal!

Or…maybe he’s not going to be on the show much longer and has nothing to lose? I mean, it’s safe to say that when Edie goes, there’s no place for her killer husband, right?

Image: Pacific (Neal signs autographs at the premiere of “RocknRolla” in this photo from Oct.

Post from: TheGloss

I’m watching the show by myself tonight. Neighbor Peggy’s got a lot of teacher-homework-business to do, so she’s missing out on the OMG 2 GURLS R GUNNA KISS episode. At ANY rate, I guess it’s all on me to make fun of the writers for using a tired, society-damaging device like a lesbian kiss to get more viewers. Let’s see if it was worth it…

9:00: The previously on shows Crazy Dave organizing his camping trip. This is one of the stories I’ve been dying to see more of. So has Edie! And Bradley! And Amy’s off to a terrible, non-hilarious start to tonight’s live blog. Will she get less funny? Stay tuned to find out.
9:03: Funny how things work out, eh? Carlos and Gaby can use Boss Bradley’s bribes to keep his cheating ways quiet to their benefit — and do all these things some would call “sinful,” and, in the end, Carlos gets Bradley’s job. What would you call that? Luck?
9:05: Edie just found out that Crazy Dave’s adorable daughter died in the same crash as his wife…and well, that he even had an adorable daughter to begin with. Want more! Want more! I want the entire show to be about Dave and Edie.
9:07: Aw, I was hoping for Lynette to stand up for herself when those two “old” 28-year-olds started rambling like Rachel McAdams in “Mean Girls” about how “old” women don’t stand a chance in the biz. Instead, all we got  was a “call my kids if you hear a gunshot”? Come on Lynette, where you at, lady???
9:08: And here’s our first opportunity to see Susan teaching — and Swoosie Kurtz! As previously reported, we knew she was going to be on the show, but we didn’t know how. Now we will…
9:10: Orson’s trying to justify his thievery to Bree. She’s not getting it. “Stealing a ceramic duck give you a thrill?” Ha! And he scoffs at the idea of talking to a psychiatrist, and says he’s not crazy. Oh, right, and Bree met you at the supermarket, was it, Orson? Right? Ooohhh, yeaaaah. Nice try, dude, but Dave’ll probably be leaving the show soon, and let’s face it: Every good awesome/trashy soap opera needs at least one crazy. You’ll take that crown from Dave, Orson.

9:12: Let’s take some bets on when the kiss is going to happen. It’s a commercial break, so I think this is the perfect opportunity for me to rant about this. I’d love to see what the ratings do for this big kiss episode. If a commercial with a little Katie Perry screaming “I kissed a girl” can attract more viewers, then I’m sad for our nation. Not gonna lie, it also makes me sad for the show’s creators, too. I, myself, just admitted that Desperate Housewives was a trashy soap opera, but I didn’t mean it was one that sinks to low levels to entice viewers. <pouts> Quit ruinin’ the integrity of my stories, DH writers! <pouts>
9:14: Yes! Swoosie’s obviously interested in Susan. Jamie called this one, didn’t he? Nice job, sir! Instead of taking bets on when they’ll kiss, I think we should take bets on what time Susan figures it out that Swoosie’s lookin’ to swooze her. I give it until 9:36 p.m.
9:16: Holy fantastic body, Swoosie! Daaaaang. I wonder if maybe Susan might actually be interested in her? This would be a good twist. I don’t think Swoosie could handle Susan’s crazy, though. Yes?
9:18: Ah! well there it is! Swoozie just planted that smooch on Susan. I, obviously, was mistaken on my 9:36 p.m. prediction. It’s safe to assume that Susan now gets what’s up, though you can never know with that smartypants.
9:19: And there THAT is. Gaby just kissed Susan.    -begin rant- Is that IT? Wait. Wait. What? Really? Seriously? Was that IT? NOW I’m angry. After all the hype, after the stories about them kissing, and Teri Hatcher saying in interviews that it was “fun” to kiss her castmate…THAT WAS IT? I’m not angry about the actual kiss. I’m angry — furious, actually — at the fact that Desperate Housewives promoters exploited the fact that two women kissed for a shameless attempt at sweeps. Here’s a thought: Let’s rely on fantastic writing, stories, character development and acting for rating, eh?    -end rant-
9:20: Lynette’s asking Gaby for help getting a job at Carlos’ company. I hope she gets it…that’ll start all sorts of inter-friendship drama.
9:21: Gaby looks fanTASTic in that red dress. The cowl at the bust…the cinching at the crotchal area. Man. I’m so happy she gave up being nice to look pretty again. Yeah, I said it.
9:22: OK, OK. Another commercial break, which means it’s time for another rant.   -begin rant- I know I just said I was thankful Gaby traded in the nice for pretty, but can we please talk about how Gaby spent the first half of this season looking “fat” and “frumpy” and now Carlos’ ex, Jackie, shows up at her doorstep looking a little, you know, chubbier than Gaby is…and she’s all of a sudden cool with them working together? Can we not teach women that everything’s OK if you’re prettier and skinnier than the competition?   -end rant-
9:26: I thought for a second I was wrong, and that Gaby might not make a comment about Jackie’s weight…and then she reminds Carlos that his type “is skinny model.” Yeah, yeah. I know! I’ve been the one hoping that she’ll go back to her old self, but can’t I have a happy medium??
9:28: …and now Gaby’s only willing to help out Lynette when it benefits her. Too bad Lynette’s not the type to even think about doing it.
9:29: HA! Bree just assumed that Mrs. McCluskey’s sleeping Mexican is Gaby’s — and then Gaby talks about how racist Mrs. McCluskey is. This makes me miss Bree’s hilarious Republican ways. We haven’t heard anything about the NRA in ages and ages!
9:30: Oh man. I can’t even describe how much I love Orson’s thievery. Not only that, but I can’t wait to see where it goes. I lied when I said I wanted this entire episode to be about Crazy Dave. I want to see the Crazy Dave and Orson Show.
9:38: YES! Swoosie’s trying to convince Susan that she’s a lesbian: “There’s a lesbian in you trying to get out.” The DH writers get some major points for Susan’s response: “Actually, I’m more worried about the lesbian outside me trying to get in.”
9:39: OK, this is a lesser rant than the kissing/chubby rants, but a rant nontheless: How’re we supposed to believe that Dave is going camping — outside — when he’s wearing that dapper three-piece suit??
9:40: This is phenomenal. Swoosie’s doing the we’re-not-actually-talking-about-what-we’re-talking-about thing in with gazelles and rhinos.
9:41: AND THERE ARE CHILDREN IN THE ROOM. YOUNG CHILDREN.
9:48: Susan tells Swoosie that she loves pity. Why am I not surprised? Good thing! I’ve got lots and lots of pity for you, Susan!
9:49: I hope we see more of Swoosie. She fits right in with all the other ladies…better than Katherine, that’s for sure. Also, let’s chat about how many times I’ve said Swoosie in this liveblog. Best. Name. Ever. Swoosie, Swoosie, Swoosie! (In other news, I think I just discovered what I’m going to name my first baby, male or female)
9:50: Aight, I’m just going to come out and say it. I regret saying I wanted the old Gaby back. She’s a jerk and a half. No. She’s two WHOLE jerks.
9:51: I’m seeing a recent, ongoing trend with the ladies’ relationships on this show. It’s the same-old “I’ll look the other way if you did a bad thing to me as long as you did the something just as bad as I did” thing. Wonder what’s going to happen when the two bad things aren’t equal?
9:57: Crazy Dave’s talking about himself as his “friend.” Edie’s finally realizing how crazy her husband is, and it’s kind of breaking my heart. I’m glad we know we’ve got limited time with Edie left — it’s making me appreciate her more.
10:00: Wait a second. I’ve seen this scene before: Bree going to a psychiatrist with her husband to find out what’s wrong with him — and denying that there’s anything wrong with herself…and then the husband complains that she’s too controlling? Ah yes. Except…his name was Rex, not Orson.

Post from: TheGloss

Yes, kids, it’s time to delegate the title of winner or loser to six individuals from this week’s episode of Desperate Housewives. I very much appreciate the responses and votes this time, which made things easier!! Actually, I’m totally lying — it made things harder to decide, because y’all made some points that I didn’t think of. I’m only one man, I can’t play DH God all by myself! Also, I’m a woman, and yes I can! So onward!

WINNERS

1. Gaby/Carlos: Jamie and Karl suggested this one, and they’re both dead on. Yes, their moral compasses skewed a little to the “I want more money at the risk of being a little evil” side, but they bounced back and did the right thing. Of course, that set off a few events that caused a woman to killed her husband, but they can’t be blamed for doing the right thing, can they?

2. Edie: Jamie’s TOTALLY right on this one. It’s not like Edie to let some MAN pull the tight cashmere over her eyes, and she’s let it happen for far, far too long. I shouldn’t even be congratulating her for this, because we know it’ll ultimately result in her death. But I don’t have many more opportunities to give Edie the Amy Bartner DH Winner’s Cup, so you get this one fair and square, lady. Aw. <looks away from computer, dabs eyes.> I’m gonna miss her.

3. Susan: All right, Jamie, I’m only mildly begrudgingly giving this one to you (say that three times fast. Go!). Any time a person take a hit to themselves to benefit someone else in a completely selfless act — the way that Susan did to Katherine with Mike — they deserve to be on the winner’s list.

LOSERS

1. Tom/Lynette: Listen, guys, I know some of you put these two as a winners, but there’s no way I can rightfully put either one of them on that list. That dispute was INCREDIBLY low. And yeah, I think Tom sunk lower than Lynette by calling out her CANCER, but neither one is a winner from that. The only good thing was that they, in the end, came back to each other (like always) and hugged it out.

2. Orson: Again, thanks to both Jamie and Karl for thinking alike on this one. Jaz, too!! Um…can I just put him on both lists? I love to watch the crazy, but man, …dude is getting up to Crazy Dave’s crazy level! Some of the thievery was excusable (the tape recorder), and some (the salt shaker) certainly wasn’t. I am looking forward to this storyline, and I hope they keep it up. It’s been a long time since we’ve seen some really ridiculous character plotlines in this show.

3. Maria: I mean, the woman did kill her husband. I think that’s grounds for loser status, don’t you? So…I know I ranted before about how she wasn’t our wife, so it made me upset that the commercials touted “one of the wives” killing, but Maria is a killer, and killing is bad. Yes?

Image: CTV

Post from: TheGloss

He confirms that Edie will not only die, but that she’ll die in the NEXT EPISODE. He wouldn’t say that Dave kills Edie, or anything more details about her death, though. I’m super, super excited for the Camping Trip of Death that Crazy Dave is orchestrating.

“She’s going to have a fantastic send-off,” he says.

OMGCANNOTWAIT!!!

Post from: TheGloss